The only place I disagree with BT is about living at home until you're 30. I moved out at 19, and although I've moved back home twice since, each time was only for a couple of months and I couldn't wait to get out again. I love my parents and we get along great for the most part. I certainly love my mothers cooking and having the use of their swimming pool. But there's something tangible about having your own place that can't be explained until your do it.Blackthorne the Legend wrote:It's not right for a young man to living at home, off his parents coffers, past the age of 30. Yet, I know someone who is nearing forty and shows no signs of leaving his parents home. He lives in their basement, eats their food and doesn't hold down a steady job.
Don't you think your parents deserve to have a life too? They probably love you completely and without question, but they deserve to have some time alone without their kids in the house.
As a single person I watched a lot of my friends grow up and get married before I did. It was a time of change in our friendships, and a couple of those friendships fell by the by, but some of them just changed. They had to change, simply because there's a third person in the equation.AGD2 wrote:Too true, Lambonius. Most of my friends were extremely foolhardy; they got married when they were 18, 19, or in their very early 20's. In fact, I dare say that almost every friend I've known has fallen into exactly the same trap, making completely unrealistic over-compromises in an effort to gain the acceptance of their 'significant other.' They usually end up severely damaging (or, more often than not, completely breaking off) their friendships as a result of that. Sadly, when you're up against a friendship vs. that insecure friend's relationship, the relationship will usually take precedence hands down. And as you say, there isn't anything as a friend that you can do about that, even if you're convinced that it can't work out for them and they don't see it. I find it difficult to respect selfish behavior like that. I think friends who get into relationships like that can very easily get blinded to the fact than their original friends will be affected by the change too, depending on how good a friend that person was, and how often you'd normally hang out with them etc.
I think it's incredibly naive to expect your friends, or anyone else, to stay the same when they've fallen in love and gone off and got married. As BT said, people's priorities change as they grow up. They're thinking about (hopefully) setting up with a partner for the rest of their lives, maybe children come into the equation. There's a lot of things that the "old" friends are simply not privy too.
In short, it happens. It's called life and the one thing about life is that it changes. Embrace the change and be a friend in the new situation.
Grow up! That's the harsh version of what I think. The not-so-harsh version is this. You will NEVER be in the perfect situation to move out and start paying your own bills. It's about respect for your parents and respect for yourself. Your parents deserve you gone. You're a pain in their ass. As much as they love you, they want you gone. They might have plans they can never fulfill because they feel like they're bound because you're there. And they've done their duty, they've raised you and they could be feeling that they've not done a good job because you don't have the skills to live on your own.AGD2 wrote:Don't be concerned about other people's opinions of you or any stigma attached to living at home beyond a certain age. If living at home while you generate more income to become financially stable works for you (and providing your parents will put up with you!), then I think you should use that to your advantage while you can. It's not stupid; It's being smart. Just be sure not to become over-reliant to the point where you can't/won't do anything for yourself anymore.
I'm not saying that you should move out simply because you turn 18 and you're legally allowed to sign a lease. Get a job. Be self-reliant. Save your moving costs, work out a weekly budget.
If there's one trap people fall into, it's that they want to start off where their parents finished. It doesn't work that way.
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And our friendship basically existed that way for years, and it was the strongest friendship I ever had. They say you meet your closest, lifelong friends in college; and I did meet several, but through it all, my humble townie friend was always there. 
