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 Post subject: need advice from friends
PostPosted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 6:48 pm 
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Location: Fort McMurray, Alberta, Canada
I recently lost a dear friend who was hit by a bus well crossing the street and I haven't been able to eat or sleep since I was told any advice on how to cope? She was my best friend

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 Post subject: Re: need advice from friends
PostPosted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 11:27 pm 
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I'm so sorry to hear that AMG...

The best thing you can do is give yourself time. You have to sleep and you need to eat, if not at least to stay strong for your friend and just remember the good times you had.

It may help for you to talk to someone like a friend, family member or counsellor. Or you may find that talking about it doesnt help. The main thing is to try and carry on with your life, things get easier, bit by bit and day by day. You'll never forget your friend, she'll always be with you, but she'd want you to carry on, be happy and remember the good times you shared.

So go eat your favourite snack and get a good nights rest and carry on. Its what she would have wanted. :)


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 Post subject: Re: need advice from friends
PostPosted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 12:29 am 
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Thanks, Angelus3K
she died the day before her 19th birthday
Last time we talk we had a huge argument
I feel horrible

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 Post subject: Re: need advice from friends
PostPosted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 12:38 am 
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We argue with the people we love the most.

Deep down you both would have known that whatever was said, whatever the arguement was about, that you both knew it didnt matter and that you were best friends.

:)


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 Post subject: Re: need advice from friends
PostPosted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 4:01 am 
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Sorry about your loss I know how it is to loose someone close.
I don't have much advice being I never could let go.
but one thing I can say is try to remember your friend but don't dwell on the fact that she is gone cause she would want you to remember her but she would not want you to suffer over her
forever this is the best advice I can give and I hope for you to be able to heal over time but remember the good times o.k.

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 Post subject: Re: need advice from friends
PostPosted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 5:38 am 
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Sorry for your loss, and hope the bus driver is behind bars where they belong!


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 Post subject: Re: need advice from friends
PostPosted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 5:59 am 
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Boogeyman wrote:
Sorry for your loss, and hope the bus driver is behind bars where they belong!

Sadly hes not

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 Post subject: Re: need advice from friends
PostPosted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 7:24 am 
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I'm sorry for your loss AMG. I know you probably feel like your never going to be happy again, but time will heal all wounds. I hope your family and friends are able to support you.

Boogeyman wrote:
hope the bus driver is behind bars where they belong!


Why should he be behind bars? It might not even be his fault. He's probably just as upset. It would be horrible knowing you were apart of a life being taken.


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 Post subject: Re: need advice from friends
PostPosted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 7:37 am 
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I'm sorry to hear that.

As others say, time heals all wounds but it takes a while. Try to find the most effective way to express your grief so it doesn't get pent up inside to cause misery later. Take part in things you enjoy in order to get your mind off things. Eventually, you'll be able to move on. I can image that the way you parted ways bothers you, but if you were truly friends, you'll realize that arguments are part of life and friends can settle disputes without the friendship taking damage.

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 Post subject: Re: need advice from friends
PostPosted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 8:06 am 
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Sorry to hear it AMG.
There really isn't any advice other than accepting what happened.
Denying really does make it worse in the end.

But don't ever forget.

Edit: I agree with what was said above. If you were truelly best friends, she would have forgiven you
(and you her) soon after the argument. Arguments truelly are part of a true friendship.


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 Post subject: Re: need advice from friends
PostPosted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 4:16 pm 
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MH aside (no offence) thanks for your support

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 Post subject: Re: need advice from friends
PostPosted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 4:24 pm 
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I agree with MH, it could of been a tragic accident.

There is no resolve in blaming others, your friend will always be with you and that's what you need to focus on.


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 Post subject: Re: need advice from friends
PostPosted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 4:48 pm 
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Me too. Unless it was indicated the driver was drunk or driving recklessly, blaming others (although understandable at this point) won't help in the long run. Still, feeling sorrow and anger at this point is normal, so I won't get too rationalizing here.

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 Post subject: Re: need advice from friends
PostPosted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 5:20 pm 
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Sorry for you, AsianMusicGuy. If it's any consolation for you, from someone who lost a cousin to a driving accident, I found that people to which you are very attached never really leave you. I still have dreams of him (and my deceased father) from time to time, where they cheer me up and tell me what they would do in some situation. You'll feel sad and frustrated by what she (and specially you) will now be unable to do, and that's normal, but a bit selfish. Death is always worse for the living, I think. Instead of thinking on the bad, focus on the good points until you get used to her absence, which will take a while.

With sudden events like this, the true impact of the loss might come to you some days later, so be ready for it and don't let it affect you too much. Let's hope she is now in a better place. :D


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