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 Post subject: Coming of Age Depression
PostPosted: Tue Oct 07, 2008 7:10 pm 
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I'm 24-going-on-25. I went through, and might still be going through, something of a quarter-life crisis on my last birthday.

But as 2008 has been a year full of loss on many levels for me and my loved ones...I guess I've spent a lot of time putting things into perspective.

It's just ironic and kinda funny...when you're a teen, you just want to buy a beer. When you're past 25, all you want is for someone to card you.

When you're a teenager, the last thing your parents want for you is to end up pregnant (or get a girl pregnant, if you're a guy). Get pregnant/get a girl pregnant and you have to hear everyone judge you.
Hit your mid-twenties and suddenly your parents and most people around you start asking you "So...when are you going to start having babies, huh?!"

You hit 16, and you can't wait for a car and you beg your parents to teach you to drive or let you take driving lessons. You hit my age and consider taking up driving again* and think about saving up for a car...then cry over auto insurance rates and realize you could buy a house for that much money.
*-(not much use driving in NYC, I haven't driven or held a license in years. But I WOULD like to stop renting and buy a decent apartment/condo when the mortgage market improves and I have a real income again.)


The fact that I'd grown up in such changing times also had to do with it too I guess...there's so many different social stratifications what with most people using the internet now, and these cell phones that practically make pancakes for you yet in spite of all these things that supposedly make our lives easier...things only seem to have gotten harder to me.


I don't have Peter Pan Syndrome or anything but...I'd kill to go back to the 80s and early 90s and be a kid all over again...be a teen again only cutting out all the bad crap I had to live through, and having things go the way they should have.

Anyone else go through this upon hitting their mid-20's? I can't be the only one...I heard that coming of age depression is pretty common...

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 Post subject: Re: Coming of Age Depression
PostPosted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 1:44 am 
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Well I've been through a lot growing up. That I wish I could go back and change and I'm going on 25 living with my mom being labeled a mama's boy by everyone. Which sucks! Even though I admit I do almost everything with my mom. I wish I could go back see what I could do different maybe get my education get a good job maybe become who I want to be or actually let me rephrase that who I feel I really am and maybe get a girlfriend and get married. But I never expected my life to take these turns. About the only thing I have going for me is my best friend offering me to stay with him and his gf of which I love him like a big brother but to him my arm is a punching bag and people who care about me don't like that but they just don't understand him and besides his gf keeps him at bay by punching him in the arm when he punches me. But anyways I'm just real soft at heart and everything but wish I could have been a bit tougher. I mean it's different for everyone and at the same time kind of the same. Like how well I never watched them but like 90210 is to Melrose Place or in our case Final Fantasy is to Dragon Quest a lot of differences but kind of leads to a similar road in the end. But all we can do is hope things get better and pray.At least thats what I say.

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 Post subject: Re: Coming of Age Depression
PostPosted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 2:37 am 
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I guess that's true...to quote an old NYHC band, Down Low, they had a great line that went: "When I think of what could've been, it makes it hard to start again."

I mean, I kinda promised myself I wouldn't be one of those people-- both as a punk and hardcore savant and computer/video game enthusiast-- who lived in the past and did nothing but complain about how they wished things could go back to how they used to be, like I'd seen so many of my elders in both those scenes do. But I'm afraid that's what I've become...a lot of today's mindsets (or just total lack of MINDS) really bother me. There's so many things about the 80s and 90s I'm dying to go back to...more than just movies, games, and pop culture references. It's much deeper than that.


I really hate what the world's become. I remember a brief turning point...I'd say around the turn of this decade/century/millennium? Before the whole "social networking" epidemic* really hit epic proportions. When the majority of people you'd talk to on the net were total nerds. Thus, more intelligent and respectful manners were used...not like today where people hit up Myspace/Facebook and go talk *fecal matter* on one another. People take themselves, and everything people say to them, TOO seriously. Or do the same thing by making forums/bulletin boards into a cliquey smack-talk fest...when dammit, the Internet was originally a place for malcontents and nerds and other social misfits to be antisocial as all hell yet still know hundreds of people at the same time. That, and people weren't so serious about it. Us true nerds knew how to have senses of humor and take things with a grain of salt and even if something was abrasive was said, we'd get a little mad but then move on knowing that most stuff said on the net was just a piece of text displayed on the screen and nothing more.

Not today. Not with all the "normal folk" and other brainwashed slaves who used to make fun of me for being computer literate since I was 4, who went and ruined it...

It's such a relief to find forums like this. It reminds me of the Internet's early years-- other computer/gaming enthusiasts keeping things at a respectful level, not the crapfests above I described.

Still though. I totally understand the third Back to the Future movie sooooo much right now...Doc just wanted to stay in the Old West because it was so much simpler and he said he'd be happier...last night I watched the first movie and dreamt a Delorean took me back to 1989. Breathed the hugest sigh of disappointment ever when I got up...

Even though I'm not that a big a fan of Nostalgia Critic, I did agree with his opening line in his reflection on Saved By The Bell: "When you're a kid, you can't stop thinking about being in high school. When you're in high school, you can't stop thinking about going to college. When you're in college, you just want to get it done with and be an adult. When you're an adult...you just want to be a kid again. Life sucks!"

I chose many unconventional paths. Some of which may have stemmed from a fairly unconventional childhood. Regardless...nothing replaces that childhood innocence and protection. That special intuition and optimism...I'd do anything to do it all over again. If what the Nostalgia Critic says is true, I guess this isn't all too uncommon to feel that way.

*-Yes, I call it an epidemic.

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 Post subject: Re: Coming of Age Depression
PostPosted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 2:56 pm 
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Holy Moses! We "old" folks have all been there. Trust me on this one: there will be a day when you wish you were 25 again (and I'm only almost 30 ;)). Your best years are right now man.

In your 20s, you make the biggest decisions of your life: who you'll marry, what you'll do in a career... Hell, most people hit their pinnacle in their 20s. Take a look at famous musicians, athletes, artists, writers, etc. Most of them all achieved success in their 20s or earlier.

The worst part is, the older you get, the faster time passes. But the trick is to always have something to look forward to. I joke with my wife all the time about how I can't wait to be in my 70s so that we can get a RV and travel the countryside (stopping at Vegas whenever possible to gamble at the penny arcades)

Another thing that can help is to determine what it is about getting old that bothers you. It almost always comes down to physical age and appearance: bones start cracking, hair falls out, women stop noticing you. I mean, if you could take your brain and stuff it back into the 18yo-version of yourself, would you really be complaining? So all you got to do is get over that hurtle, and all will be fine. Good luck ;). All I can say is that having someone to get old with definitely helps

Culturally, you do have a point; things are different. But great things come from bad times. When you don't have much, you'll find you have a spirit of determination, creativity, etc. But when you are rich, the opposite might be true: laziness, apathy, arrogance, recklessness. (This is what has happened to the USA, IMO). Eventually hard times come, and things rebound. Always do.

Well that's my take on it. Someone even older than me is reading this and chuckling :)


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 Post subject: Re: Coming of Age Depression
PostPosted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 3:32 pm 
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I guess the main thing bothering me is just that I wish things could be simpler, like how they used to be. Or that I could just take the best things of the 2000s, leave behind the worst, and find a happy medium somewhere between 1987-1993. I just staunchly refuse to be part of my so-called generation.

I mean...remember in the 80's and very early 90's, how people as a whole were so astounded at all this technology coming into play? Hand-held calculators being invented were such a big deal? Only people like CEOs, and rap music executives, owned cell phones and they were these big clunky things? RECORD PLAYERS? *sigh* When the 8-bit gaming era was coming to a close with EGA-to-VGA games and consoles like the NES being trumped out by the SNES...it was considered to be computer and video game companies just racing against time?

All this technology fascinated and scared us at the same time...hell, look at classic 80's movies like Gremlins: The New Batch and Back to the Future (namely the third movie). People were afraid that all this technology was going to take advantage of them, and that anything far too advanced must be destroyed.

Today?

No one's afraid. No one CARES. People now EXPECT all this technology to keep on getting better, and let it take over their brains...and are so distracted by it that they don't even care about what's going on around them. No one questions anything anymore. There's no imagination, or inquisitive natures. They care more about smack-talking their high school rivals and tons of people they don't know and never met on Myspace, and what to put on their iPods, than about what's happening with the world. There's millions of digital cable channels yet nothing on.

Whereas compare it to the people in general, but especially the angst-ridden youth, of the past. I suppose that some people back then were saying the same things I'm saying now too. But things are REALLY on a whole different level today. Parents still living in the 1950's and 60's complained that video games were rotting their 90's childrens' brains, just as they complained in the 80's that too much TV would rot their brains. (This carried over to the 90's as well.)

People still cared about being informed and educated. Today....there's just this mindless and robotic way of doing things; and a total lack of thinking for one's self that truly bothers me. And look at these kids being brought up conditioned to all this technology...people born in 1983-1988 saw it advance further and further and had to keep adapting.

I can't say I'm 100% averse to all this technology. For one, I love the Nintendo DS and I do own an iPod because as an avid music lover, it seemed too good to be true. High-speed internet without causing a phone-line crash is great...looking up random crap on Wikipedia and talking to other nostalgia-minded gamers is awesome. And...eBay, need I say anything more. I'm not saying EVERYTHING this decade has brought us is bad.

It's just the mindsets, especially of today's youth, I guess. Seeing kids not thinking for themselves, and just not wanting to rebel, upsets me. Having conformity take on a different face like I described earlier also kinda did it...

Oh Doc, where's that Delorean and the flux capacitor?

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 Post subject: Re: Coming of Age Depression
PostPosted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 4:14 pm 
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FamousAdventurer77 wrote:
It's just the mindsets, especially of today's youth, I guess. Seeing kids not thinking for themselves, and just not wanting to rebel, upsets me. Having conformity take on a different face like I described earlier also kinda did it...


Ah. You got a point with your whole post, but I don't think you have to worry. This decade was a pretty mindless decade, but you can already see things starting to change. This whole way of life caused a lot of depression, mostly because of the stressful and very fast lifestyle. But even the ads on TV you'll notice that everything seems to be based on helping people relax or get rid of tension (which includes all the exercise crap). Even adventure gaming... I got a shock when I started reading everywhere on the net how much people needed QfG2VGA. Almost no comments on the resolution and lack of the ability of killing the friendly NPCs.

I'm pretty sure they'll refer back to this decade as the 'idiotic-zeros' or the 'decade that should never have been'. LOL!


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 Post subject: Re: Coming of Age Depression
PostPosted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 5:07 pm 
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I hope so! It's the decade of...Cell Phones That Do Everything For You So You Don't Even Have to Bother Thinking Anymore.

Coupled with traditional coming of age depression...wow, this sucks.

But I suppose something to look forward to is that I'm finally graduating college in December 2009. A new decade, new job, and hopefully a better economy and better outlooks.

That and Halloween...Friday this year and falls on a Saturday next year! Next year I might even go trick-or-treating as part of my staunch refusal to not grow up. :p

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 Post subject: Re: Coming of Age Depression
PostPosted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 5:47 pm 
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FamousAdventurer77, that post of yours couldn't have come out differently if I'd typed it myself -- especially the Back to the Future references. :D Trust me, you're not the only one noticing these changes in society in the past decade or so. I'm nearly 31 now, but even back when I was 22/23, closer to the turn of this century, things were already taking a noticeable turn for the worse, in my opinion.

I would say part of the problem certainly lies in people being lazier, yet wanting to be richer at the same time. This usually results in big problems as it creates deficits in almost every facet of modern society where people adopt this lazy approach. Some examples:

"Reality" TV
The biggest oxymoron of all time. Horrible. Absolutely horrible, mindless rubbish. I really don't know what annoys me more; the reality TV shows themselves, or the people who sit with their eyes glued to the screen believing this this crap is real and not completely manufactured. Back in 1999, reality TV was pretty much unheard of. It only took the release of "The Blaire Witch Project" for TV producers to realize that an ultra low-budget film, coupled with a deceptive marketing campaign could earn BIG bucks for very little investment. This sparked a torrent of crummy reality TV knock-offs by lazy producers trying to cash-in on the 'deceptive marking' technique. And apparently the populace is so dumb that they still fall for it, even up to this day! With 'Blaire Witch', this technique was new and it worked very well for the film makers because the audience believed the events in the film were real and that aroused curiosity. The Blaire Witch Project was later revealed as a deceptive publicity hoax, orchestrated to sell more tickets. Reality TV has people tuning in, based on exactly the same principle. The problem, aside from it being mindless garbage, is that it's deceptive and dishonest broadcasting. And I think this has certain moral implications on its impressionable audience. At least with a sitcom or movie, you're watching it based on the knowledge that it's a work of fiction.

Therefore, I guess Reality TV is mostly frustrating because A) it shows how gullible a large number of people can be (particularly when they do silly things like voting for pre-selected winners via SMS - on a premium rate number, no less!); and B) It allows lazy TV producers to get rich at the expense of the gullible masses. Many TV networks become stagnant in 2000 and instead of putting anything worthwhile on, prime-time viewing is filled with completely useless, brain-numbing crap. If people raised their viewing expectations, TV networks and producers would have to work harder to keep their audiences tuned-in, by producing QUALITY shows. It would keep the bar raising, as opposed to keeping in the rut it's been in for the past 8-9 years.

Social Networking sites
Guess I'm in the minority on this one, but honestly, I still don't understand the point of these sites. They seem like nothing more than an excuse to brag about how many virtual friends a person has! If you want to keep in touch with your friends, what's wrong with using the phone or traditional communication methods? Oh, that's right... Nobody can SEE how virtually popular you are if you merely talk to one friend at a time on the phone! It seems to be all about image, rather than real substance. The only use I can see were social networking sites might have some practical purpose is for tracking down people, say, for school reunions and what not. But in most cases, even people you've had fallings-out with generally stopped communicating with you for some reason. And just because social networking sites now make it easier to find these people again, doesn't always mean that's a good idea. I'm talking from experience here! How does this reflect back on society? Well, I think much like reality TV, it can waste huge amounts of time on an activity that a person could be using to do more productive things. Posting on a Social networking site kinda feels like playing a never-ending MMORPG to me. Once the gimmick wears off, you realize you can't gain anything from it and it eats into valuable time, but at that point you have to keep posting, otherwise you won't look virtually popular anymore. These sites rely heavily on the "me too" mentality which everyone seems to have adopted these days. And let's face it, if a person's friends aren't members, then the whole thing just falls apart. But because everyone's friends and their mothers ARE members, it makes social networking sites appear to be more useful than they really are. I actually find it kind of refreshing when someone says "Social networking page, what's that?"

Sadly, when I refer to MySpace and FaceBook as 'wasteofspace' and 'farcebook', or tell people that I'm going to start my own social networking site called "knucklebook" where people can post pictures of their knuckles, the joke is totally lost on them. This one's a doozy. *sigh*

Young Gen-Y'ers being given too much responsibility
The amount of kids fresh out of high-school, holding high-standing company positions these days, such as HR managers, is mind boggling! 10-20 years ago, these jobs were the domain of 30-50 year olds, but now all that has changed. These young kids are responsible for employing and firing people who, in most cases, are far more business-savvy and workforce oriented than they are. This would be hilarious, if it weren't so frightening.

Now, I have nothing against giving a job to the most qualified person, regardless of age, but the large majority of these kids are in NO WAY qualified to be doing the jobs they're given. They lack the necessary workforce experience, life experience, and judgment skills that can only be obtained by spending several years in the same job. And yet these careers seem to be handed to them on a silver platter for the simple fact that they're younger, and can therefore be paid a lower wage. Gone are the days when the younger generation actually had to work their way up in order to prove their capabilities and earn respect before being offered a promotion.

The collective effect of this is bad on all sides. It means that mistakes are often made by these young kids and people who SHOULD be employed are frequently overlooked, the wrong persons are employed, and this all costs more time and money for the company. These young kids are given a sense of instant gratification by their employers rather than the satisfaction of working towards a promotion with a system that rewards them incrementally when they improve over time. This fast-track process conditions these kids to simply expect things, rather than work towards goals. I think it sets them up for potential failure in the future, as when they hit their 30's, they'll find it harder to get jobs, and will have missed out on gaining vital skills early on. Employers tend to do this to increase profits at the expense of lowering quality assurance/customer support. So, overall, it can make the company look bad or unreliable. Unfortunately, a LOT of companies seem to be trying to save a buck in this manner now, meaning that customer service in most companies ain't what it used to be.

Over-sensitivy
Over-sensitivity to political incorrectness plays a big part in the way people behave in modern society. Rather than risking offending others by stating the truth, most people are now inclined to remain silent or just outright lie in order to avoid offending someone. Yet, no matter WHAT you say and do, you're always going to offend someone out there. In a way, this is what makes life so interesting - the fact that not everyone holds the same opinions and ideas. But it really seems like we're becoming a bunch of wimps! If everyone could just call a spade a spade, then maybe society would have a more honest mentality.

People trash-talking others on the net is due to insecurity in themselves. So if a large majority of young people are now doing that, what's it saying about their self-esteem? Growing up and being encouraged to criticize valid and sensible topics (without fear of offending or reprisal) would probably help kids develop appropriate communication skills, rather than it manifesting in said trash talking.



Well, those are just a few things that I'd consider as pretty big factors in warping people's attitudes and behavior since the year 2000 onwards. Media and image plays a huge part in how society acts and how people should act to 'fit in'. It's true that each generation tends to chide the emerging generation because they're not 'the same' as they were. But maybe that's because each new generation does indeed discard some trait/morality that the previous generation expected them to uphold for the good of humanity. Like a relay runner dropping the baton on their teammate or something. Make no mistake, in our youth, we Gen-X'ers often heard Baby Boomers complaining "kids today have no respect" and I'm sure that Gen-Y'ers will have their share of complaints when Gen-Z'ers come of age, 10 years from now.

It's sad, but I really don't think things can ever go back to the simplicity of the 80's or even the 90's. So much has changed since then and nowadays people hold money, assets, and valuables in too high esteem. Yet at the same time, it seems that things MUST go back because if they don't then humankind is setting itself up for an impossible future. If things can change so drastically in 10 short years, just think what the world could be like in 50 years if the current trends and attitudes continue. The only thing people will be fast-tracking, is the extinction of the human race! It seems like too many people are happy to be part of the problem rather than part of the solution, these days.


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 Post subject: Re: Coming of Age Depression
PostPosted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 6:20 pm 
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AGD2...you are frigging awesome.


I totally agree about Reality TV. It's so stupid...but these brainwashed morons just eat it up...


I'm also in the minority about the Social Networking Epidemic. I mean, even in the punk and hardcore culture? Which has ALWAYS been based on ignoring the masses and looking down upon them? Has embraced this crap! And it makes me sick!


People get SO worked up over their virtual friends and I can't tell you how many people I know have had Myspace-related falling-outs. People start so much stupid and useless drama over it. The cliquey crap I described earlier? Is EXACTLY what happens both on the major players (like Myspace) and its offshoots (certain subculture-centered ones I won't name). They're full of people in my age bracket and older who act totally immature...and not immature in the fun way like me and my friends; it's like people in their 30s purposely pick on each other and people younger than them and it's just RETARDED.


I mean, it was different at the beginning of the decade when it actually facilitated things like getting your band's word out and promoting your shows; and I discovered lots of bands this way. But now...it's put the scene in decline so much. People go to shows and no one knows each other anymore; they maybe awkwardly stare at each other and say things like "Hey...aren't you on so-and-so's Myspace?" Arrrrgh!


I want to kill my Myspace account SO bad but well, I only stay on it for my band and just to stay in touch with my friends (majority who I know in real life, and the ones I made the OLD FASHIONED way on the internet who I go waaaay back with.)
When I meet people who don't have accounts/have one of out of pure reluctancy like myself...it's SUCH a relief!


As for the Gen Y kids...well, that's kinda a whole other topic. I haven't seen too much of this, but I think a big problem is that a lot of employers ask for TOO many qualifications for the wrong jobs, and too many unnecessary hiring practices (like the AccuTrak and Sterling Tests).
When I was in a big rut in most of 2005 trying to find a job, I was looking just for some crappy waitressing and bartending jobs so I wouldn't have to keep asking my dad to pay my rent as I dropped out of college in 2004. And seriously? Trying to get one of these crappy jobs was a hell whole lot harder than the work I do now as an accountant and tax processor!


First, it's the whole snafu with having no experience. Too many places of business don't see inexperience as an asset: which it is. It means that you can mold that inexperienced person into your methods of doing things; whether it's a cashiering job or something a little more complex like systems management or bookkeeping.


Second, I kept seeing the dumbest things on the applications...Hard Rock Cafe wanted to know my high school and college GPAs. What??? Just for a minimum wage job waiting and bussing tables?! I've seen people who can barely speak English or understand what I'm telling them get these jobs, yet I couldn't land one.


Then there's those automated hiring systems a lot of corporations use, such as Target, K-Mart, & Home Depot-- even people with a lot of retail experience that I know have been turned down for jobs using those stupid things. They're faulty and a bad investment.


And testing...when I run my own companies when the time comes, I will NEVER make prospective employees take those stupid tests. I took one when I had to work Sam Ash, the Sterling Test, and it basically accuses you of being a shoplifter. Now...if you shoplifted and you were never convicted, would you say you did it? Of course not! You'd never the job that way...People will lie on them. They're a waste of time and money.


And when I had Labor Economics a few semesters ago, I did a study on this and found that actually, employees' morale greatly decreases if their boss/potential boss administers tests like drug tests and the Sterling test. They're such a WASTE! Employers piss away so much money on them too, that's the screwed up part. They can solve the experience snafu by spending that money on something like employee training!


And finally...it's the mix of the things I just described. At one point, a bachelor's degree could get you to a pretty good career level. Nowadays grad school is practically mandatory for many fields...and well, with the credit crunch and so many other factors attaining a master's degree is so much harder today.


I definitely want to go to grad school but undecided on what I'll do for a graduate degree. I want to go back to my first true love of computers and video games and go for Comp Sci or Systems Management...or for a general management or labor relations MBA. But unlike this society, I know how to pace myself. I'm so sick of being in school full-time I just want to get my accounting bachelor's done with and work full-time for a while.


Wish a Delorean could take me back to 1989 where grad school was hardly a concern of mine...

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 Post subject: Re: Coming of Age Depression
PostPosted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 6:52 pm 
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Well I don't know if I would call myself a rebel as much as I would call myself a sneak. I've gone behind my mom's back and done stuff she thinks I shouldn't and some stuff I now know I shouldn't have I've just done stuff that I'm glad I did and stuff I regret doing but through most of it I've had fun I've even got up at a bar one time drunk singing a song I never even listened to of which I was familiar with the title and I believe y'all know the song too at least by name if not by lyrics. Eminem 8 Mile and I missed half the words hopefully next time I get drunk I can do something positive with my drunkness. :rollin Oh and as far as reality TV if I want reality I'll watch my cat take a dump. :smokin

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 Post subject: Re: Coming of Age Depression
PostPosted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 8:22 pm 
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Bwahaha! Great sentiment on reality TV, I agree. If I wanted to watch people engage in stupid behaviors...I get enough of that at school and around my neighborhood.


If I want something unrealistic and entertaining...I'd rather watch some classic teen movies/TV shows such as the likes of Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Saved By The Bell, and Sixteen Candles (which totally screwed up a whole generation of girls! Even ones in my age bracket. I could talk about that movie for HOURS!) Or over the top ones like Tim & Eric: Awesome Show and Superbad.


Or something blatantly fictitious like most animated shows. Reality TV has done a worse number on impressionable young people and gullible adults than most mass media outlets.

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 Post subject: Re: Coming of Age Depression
PostPosted: Thu Oct 09, 2008 3:43 am 
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I think if you don't have a "what does it all mean?" moment around age 25, you're not living.

I had a very similar experience, compounded with being diagnosed with End Stage Renal Disease (Kidney Failure) shortly before I turned 25. I was on dialysis for the rest of my life, I needed a transplant, and my whole "carefree" world crumbled like bleu cheese over a salad. But you know what? If you're tenacious, you manage to carve out a good life for yourself.

I used to be much more ferverent in my distain for the foibles of pop-culture, but I've mellowed a bit in my age. You think you have existential crisis turning 25? Try turning 30! It sneaks right up on you, and you're saying "Whoa! What HAPPENED to the last five years?" It also, oddly for me, gives you bitchin' facial hair. Anyway, I think you're doing fine man. Growing pains? They stick around as you get older, they just become more esoteric.

Bt

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 Post subject: Re: Coming of Age Depression
PostPosted: Thu Oct 09, 2008 4:38 am 
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Renal disease? Damn, I salute you. Here I am whining about missed experiences and ending up with post traumatic stress disorder...things could be far worse. At least I'm finishing school and got a roof over my head and no significant health issues to speak of.
A huge bomb that went off in my world was that the singer of my band was diagnosed with cancer last month. Worse yet it had taken him a lot of convincing to even get it checked out. I'm grateful that it was caught early and his chances of being cancer-free in a year or two are high...but I guess I'm trying to have better regard for my health as a result.


Thing is, I'm usually good at ignoring the world around me. I've avoided the general mainstream since 1999 or so, only popping above the radar when I felt like it. Pop culture is one thing (I hardly know anything about what's popular now and haven't since 1998 or so), but it's just that...I kinda can't ignore how digital everything's gone. It's not like not bothering to watch TV or giving a crap about what plays on the radio (unless it's underground radio like some of the independent shows friends and colleagues put together...in which case it's only new underground bands or otherwise music that's at least 15 years old!)


It's just this seeing this general attitude of apathy and not questioning anything. It sucks. More than anything that's ever sucked before. And that people somehow can't use this technology to their advantage...people are seriously dumbing down and I KNOW it isn't my imagination!
I'm just dying to go back to a smarter yet simpler time. And hoping this stupid depression will pass.


But if I end up with facial hair...uh...I'm not a dude. :| Yeah, that'd be bad. But by 30, I will probably be a crazy cat lady with a small colony undoubtedly. :\

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 Post subject: Re: Coming of Age Depression
PostPosted: Fri Oct 10, 2008 7:34 pm 
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I also turned 25 this year. My existential quarter-life crisis happened mainly last year, when I was 24. When I was nearing my 25th birthday, things were starting to go uphill.

I think a lot of people go through a few life-cycle troubles at least a few times during one lifetime. There's a lot of more choices people have to make during their life now compared to yesteryear; life is so unlineair nowadays, which makes it especially harder for young people. Two examples;

1. What am I going to study?
Past: "My father is a medical doctor; I'm going to be a medical doctor. If my father isn't a doctor, I'm not gonna study"
Present: An overwhelming array of studies; you usually only get to pick one, but it's life-determining anyhow. How can you ever make the right choice?

2. What will the rest of my life look like?
Past: You marry and have children, and then you die.
Present: Life grows in a lot of controllable and uncontrollable directions you never foresaw in the first place. Other people (and yourself) will attribute all that to your 'choices'. This can induce stress.

Those are just two examples. There's many more, as you well know. I think it's very reasonable to have a crisis around 25.

Also, I try to avoid doom-thinking. I never watch TV. I don't listen to the radio. I'd actually rather ram a rusted railroadspike through my skull than do either of those. But there's also a lot of things still good in the world; with every pop-culture there's an non-pop-culture. I go out to the stores, buy DVDs of TV-series I do like, or go to a record store to be new and old LPs. There's still so much to enjoy; nostalgia is a great part of my everyday experience, but I also try and have an open mind.

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 Post subject: Re: Coming of Age Depression
PostPosted: Sat Oct 11, 2008 3:29 am 
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I completely understand the job application issue. I've had to deal with those quite a few times in the past few years. It's rather frustrating at times cause they aren't really questioning but more of a trick questionnaire. I've noticed how they have a tendency to ask the same question in three different ways, like it's some attempt to catch a person off guard filling out an application. As for tv, the hell with reality shows, I prefer my Looney Tunes anytime of the day over crap like that. And yes, I'm 28 years old still watching cartoons, but that's my thing. I understand all too well how you feel about going back to a simpler time being a nostalgic person myself. But that's another story for another time...

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 Post subject: Re: Coming of Age Depression
PostPosted: Sat Oct 11, 2008 12:28 pm 
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The Guy wrote:
And yes, I'm 28 years old still watching cartoons, but that's my thing.


If you ever feel weird about that just remember: The people who made that show are around your age and have dedicated their entire lives to cartoons. Of course when we'd watch Avatar on our lunch break, we told everyone it was a study of animation techniques.

I'm not sure how much I'm allowed to say when it comes to 'coming of age' depression, But this last year has been terrible for me as well thanks to the studio shutting down, delays at any other prospective jobs (Thank you American economy, I'm sure no one else in the world was depending on those investors), the death of one of my best friends from high school, my mom's skin cancer scare, my sister's cancerous cells scare (Both treated and hopefully gone for good), a good friend moving away, the writers strike slowing us down at the beginning of the year, bills getting higher, having to leave my awesome nerd group due to the wandering eyes of a married man, denied by unemployment and getting rid of my boyfriend.
It's left me with a lot of questions about what I'm doing and what needs to change.
My parents say that if things don't look up by November I'm going to have to 're-evaluate my life plan'. Ya know, as if the above list was part of the plan in the first place.
But they're just worried, my family settles down young. My mother and grandmother have been bugging me since 20 to have kids and buy a house, none of which were in MY game plan but that doesn't seem to bother them.
I don't long to be younger, but I feel like I waste so much of my time waiting for things to get better that I do get upset.

BUT! Part of me is still sickly optimistic. I think I'll get this job I'm gunning for, when I get there hopefully I'll meet a nice guy with common interests, I'll work my ass off, get out of debt, impress my new boss, move into a bigger apartment and have co workers to get a beer with after work (that's a large part of my social life lol).
Besides, I know there's NO WAY next year can be as bad as this one was.
I miss being a kid and hanging out with my best friend in the basement, playing pool and watching adult cartoons we didn't understand but I've had a lot of fun since then so even if I could go back I probably wouldn't.

Sorry if some of that seems a little rambly and random, no time to check it over.


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 Post subject: Re: Coming of Age Depression
PostPosted: Sat Oct 11, 2008 5:08 pm 
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I'm sorry to hear about the death of your friend. It's one of the worst things in the world, if not the absolute. 2008 has been too full of loss for me as well. A close family friend of mine who had a big part in raising me died of breast cancer in May, to be followed by the unexpected death of the singer of Shell Shock; a hardcore band my band played with a lot. I agree that the crappiness of this year can't be surpassed.

Fortunately your mom and sister turned out to be okay...the singer of my band does have it. And luckily he isn't as bad off as he could be if it had gone unchecked any longer.


As for settling down young...I just missed waaaaaay too much when I was younger so I kinda promised myself that I would try to live up my 20's and 30's as much as I could. I mean, it's a common feeling for most people in our age brackets...we're still young and living it up (or trying to live it up within our financial means heh) but then we see friends, acquaintances, and peers doing things like getting married and having kids. I honestly feel no pressure to do either since I didn't plan for either.
I just wanted to have fun you know. I figured that since I put my friends and career first and want to be a homewoner...it cancelled out the so-called immaturity of still watching cartoons, playing video games, and centering my social life around punk shows while staunchly not wanting to get married or procreate. (What? I'm a swinger who prefers answering to feline camaraderie. It's as respectable a life choice as any other.)


Then one of my close friends got a letter for her high school reunion (she's 28). It was an RSVP request with online instructions. For the hell of it, she went on it and looked at the replies people put up-- "I'm getting married that day", "I'm expecting my THIRD child and can't find a babysitter", and the like.
She was telling me all about how like myself, she wasn't in touch with anyone from her high school. There were two other girls she was friendly with but lost touch with over the years.

So she wrote in to the site: "I can't attend because even though my cats don't need a babysitter nor do I have a ball and chain, I'm going to be at a punk show with my REAL friends instead of people I have to pretend to be happy to see and be all fake."


I think I'm coming out of this depression a bit. Y'all are right...I should look at what I do have than what I don't. What I do have...IS a hell whole lot more than what most people have. At least I have some decent seasonal employment guaranteed upon January, along with marketable job skills that will always be strongly demanded. And with good friends and tons of video games...do I need much else to "cushion the shocks"?


As for being rambly, it's awesome. :) I'm glad to know I'm not the only rambler out there.

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 Post subject: Re: Coming of Age Depression
PostPosted: Sat Oct 11, 2008 6:51 pm 
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Nothing at all wrong with rambling and there sure as hell is nothing wrong with games, I've been a gamer since the wee age of three. I have a bit of trouble going into lengthy ramblings for some reason.

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 Post subject: Re: Coming of Age Depression
PostPosted: Sat Oct 11, 2008 7:13 pm 
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About stupid things on job applications, why do many have you fill in the date both at the top and next to where you sign on the back/last page? Why not just put it in the latter spot? Are people really taking more than one day to fill one out? Is it some kind of test? Likely, some HR department or bureaucracy where the right hand knows not what the left is doing... :p

Anyway, after just having turned 33, I look back and ask what have I really accomplished. Many famous people have accomplished so much by my age, some even not even making it this far. And here I am working a job that I could have dropped out of high school to get, while my college Associate Degree collects dust on a shelf. At least I accomplished that much :rolleyes

There's so much more I could be doing with my life that it becomes overwhelming, and I don't want to do anything. I've had some serious talking with some acquaintances lately that hopefully will be the impetus for me to get back on track.

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 Post subject: Re: Coming of Age Depression
PostPosted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 8:11 am 
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The job applications are SO ridiculous. So are the online tests. I remember filling one out for Pizza Uno online and it was the STUPIDEST crap I'd ever seen. I think that one ties with Hard Rock Cafe or beats it.


I don't know what the hell kind of relevance my high school and college GPAs had to waiting tables (being that high school students and high school dropouts can hold these types of jobs?). But the Pizza Uno one asked all these really, really retarded questions all about being service-oriented and how committed you are to it. Then they also gave examples about what you would do in situations about customers and co-workers...what?!? Then all this other stupid crap about serving the company, teamwork, yadda yadda...


I know people who've had these kinds of service jobs and went on about how much they sucked, but that the money you make in tips is way better than other crappy wage jobs. But be committed to both customers and supervisors who treat you like crap? Ha! Even the HR people know much these jobs suck. Making someone who needs the money go waste their time with those dumb personality tests is an even bigger insult. That whole concept is just a bigger insult in itself than the dumb questions alone!

And the "What If" questions...jeez, I've seen less complex crap in my CPA Review and Internal Revenue Exam Review books! And I'm actually being dead serious.


With the money that businesses piss away on those asinine and inconclusive tests, they could be using that money to do things like provide employee training (so they can stop complaining about you not having enough experience) or just plain MORE JOBS.


And it's just ironic how those crap jobs can be harder to get than ones that require a college degree or other kind of specialized training or certificates. I find it both sad and hilarious at the same time that I got rejected from one crap retail job after another, and one crap waitressing and bartending job after another, in eight crappy months I spent trying to find work after I got laid off from Sam Ash a couple years ago...


...but I'd gotten a bookkeeping job last year and a Wall Street internship this year-- both on the spot better yet. And, neither positions really gave a crap about my grades or work history. I just replied to the Craig's List ads and went to the interviews and that was that. No stupid personality tests or other pointless drivel to go waste my time...


Right now I'm finishing out H & R Block training, which means they pretty much have to hire me if I pass the final Internal Revenue exam. They have a partnership with my school to get accounting, business, pre-law and math majors to train with them for 3 months then work for them the coming tax season so they kinda know off the bat that it'll be the first or second job for most applicants.


Yeah I know. It's McTax Return, as seen in shopping malls and tons of ghettos. But at least their practice of training people with comparable math skills and accounting/legal/finance knowledge for full-time jobs is FAR better than what I've seen of most businesses who invest in stupid things like the personality tests and computerized hiring systems, or ad campaigns that can end up going nowhere.


As for accomplishment...don't go by what Hollywood and the mass media shove at us as accomplishment. Most of the people who ride high now end up being thrown back into the oblivion of normalcy eventually. (For instaince, think back to all our favorite 80's movies, and the actors and directors involved. Hell, even some 90's ones for argument's sake. Less than 50% of those people are still socially relevant!)


Few end up being lifelong famous. And they too are only mortals after all.


Then there's what society tells you to do: go to college, establish a career, get married, buy a house, have 2.3 kids.


I believe that every individual also sees accomplishments in different terms...do what you feel is right for you, not what society tells you or other people tell you. I know people who've done all the above and end up being totally miserable...it's all our own calls in the end I guess. I think I'll stay with being an accountant by day and hardcore guitarist by night who'd rather answer to cats and my drunk friends than a husband.

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 Post subject: Re: Coming of Age Depression
PostPosted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 10:07 pm 
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Hey, not all of us even make it part way in life. I am a high school dropout, though I did get my GED. I was working for a good few years in my late teens to early twenties and then was hit by a car which messed me up mentally for a couple of years. I've been on the low up until recently trying to put my life back in order. Change is not an easy thing. And as for the job thing, I'm going back to a place I've worked twice now and the main reason I got hired is because I happen to know a few people still there. So if not for that, I'd more than likely still be looking for a job just to have spending money.

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 Post subject: Re: Coming of Age Depression
PostPosted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 10:44 pm 
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Still, the crap they put you through with trying to get these jobs is ridiculous. Knowing people's always a plus though since it gets you out of a lot of the said crap.


As for college...most BAs are honestly useless. This is all judging from what I've seen friends and peers go through. Business, science, and computer/IT degrees hold way more value on the job market as most of those degree candidates can usually get jobs before they even graduate. Some BA-holders luck out by knowing the right people or being in the right place at the right time. Still, fact of the matter is that reading comprehension, writing, and other right-brained cognitive skills aren't as strongly demanded as logical reasoning and quantitative method left-brained skills are on the job market.

My sister feels her BA was a total waste of time-- and that she makes more money working for a small pet care business than she does as a teacher. One of my close friends majored in Women's Studies and ended up going back to AC Moore's to work there full-time and I remember how much she hated it, and felt that the degree was just a waste of time and she racked up a bunch of student loan debt all for nothing.


My dad was always real judgmental of people who didn't go to college/dropped out, and I remember always butting heads with him about it after I dropped out 4 years ago. Now that my stepmom never went to college and he sees what a smart and articulate person is, he shuts up about it... :|

I seriously don't judge because looking at some of the sacrifices I had to make upon returning to college in late 2005 (and dying to finish it out now), and some of the totally USELESS classes I had to sit through, and going through all that to end up with

A) a nice pile of student loan (and possibly credit card and other) debts...since I go to a public college thank god this doesn't apply to me
B) Being told you're overqualified for certain jobs because you hold a Bachelors but then you're too inexperienced to get the better jobs you heard so much about while still in college
C) Both of the above


I can see why people don't bother going, or give up on it. I hear stories then remember why I initially dropped out.

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 Post subject: Re: Coming of Age Depression
PostPosted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 5:27 pm 
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Just want to pop in to say, dropping out of HS was the best move I ever made.

Plus college is for losers. Not to say folks here with degrees or credit hours are losers. You are the exception because you are reading this here, right now.

But most are.

And yes. the World has gotten universally worse since the 80's.

Too many things to say I agree with, but virtually all points already made I can identify with.

Getting old can be fun too.

Ignorance can be amusing, but being old has its benefits too. I'm young but wise enough to know the rocks and trees have been here long enough to get the jump on me. I know that they are laughing, because I'm new here and the joke is on me.

That's about it.

PS There is nothing to get the blood flowing like Armed Revolution. Not that I'm advocating that. But one false move from MR.Obama might just bring down the house. About time too. I've been sitting in front of my computer for too long.

PPS Can't wait for Watchmen to come out. One good thing: Modern Comic Book movies. TDK made enduring years of awful films worth it.


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 Post subject: Re: Coming of Age Depression
PostPosted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 11:35 pm 
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Most BAs are pretty worthless. Thinking of my sister (who's still crying over how long it took her to get her degree to this day) and some friends who haven't been able to do much with their BAs...especially in THIS crappy job market...it makes me so glad that I picked accounting. Yeah, it's not the most stimulating thing in the world. But I happen to be good at it and I have the satisfaction of knowing that I help people save money, and can interpret the language of the big bad IRS wolves for normal people to comprehend. In my field, one also tends to land a fairly well-paying job well before graduation.


Though I can't lie, if there comes a day that I've saved up enough money to stop doing tax returns for a living and can devote all my time to my band and writing music for video games...I will totally freakin embrace it.


We'll see what 2009 brings us...this crappy decade's coming to a close. Hopefully less oversensitivity and drama. At least Obama's keeping a lot of his promises on tax reform. I'm not holding out for a miracle, but I'm pleased to see the jump in EITC eligibility and removal of most of the dividend tax.

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