my life sucks forever

Message

chels · #1 Post by **chels** » Mon Aug 09, 2004 2:13 am

I can't believe this. The guy that i have been in love with and shared the best moments of my life with for the past year and a half broke up with me. I know this sounds like regular old teenage drama but I just did not see this coming.

He was at bible camp for a week and today I finally got to see him and he said that he needed to take a break but he still loves me and still wants to marry me someday. But he also said the he wants me to meet other guys and he needs to see what dating other girls is like because i'm the only girl he's ever dated.

I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like my life is gone. He said that he wants me to be his best friend and he kept trying to kiss me and I'm so confused right now. I told him he can't do that to me after he just told me he wanted to break up with me and he started crying. He said there was a girl at camp that he felt attracted to because she looked like me but he said he was confused because he also was attracted to her because she was a different person. He said she was cold and he let her wear his sweatshirt and he put his arm around her but he felt so guilty about it afterwards.

I don't know what i'm supposed to do. I really just want to get back together but if he wants to I don't know if I should. I'm sorry for rambling I just need to get this out in writing.

Senor Matt · #2 Post by **Senor Matt** » Mon Aug 09, 2004 2:19 am

I'm sorry to hear that Chels, that must be hard.
But remember, most men are just big stupid jerks anyway, believe me, I am one so I know.

DOWN WITH MEN!!!

Blackthorne519 · #3 Post by **Blackthorne519** » Mon Aug 09, 2004 2:27 am

Life is confusing.

Especally in matters of the heart.

We all want to follow the good emotional path, but sometimes it's hard to proceed with any kind of, well, decorum. Men don't really come into emotional maturity until long after women have already lived there for a while.

The cliches about love are true; just as much as what I'm going to tell you is true. You'll get over it, grow, and move beyond if that's what is meant to happen. If he needs to find himself in a different way, maybe it's best to let him. If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it's meant to be. If it doesn't, it's a piece of shit so wipe your ass and move on.

Okay. That was harsh and gross. Uh, chin up, Chels. I gots faith that you'll be okay.

Bt

The Knight · #4 Post by **The Knight** » Mon Aug 09, 2004 2:27 am

Sorry to hear that.

But remember, most men are just big stupid jerks anyway, believe me, I am one so I know.

DOWN WITH MEN!!!

I think we're going a little to far there. It's all about finding the guys that aren't jerks.

Jafar · #5 Post by **Jafar** » Mon Aug 09, 2004 2:37 am

*Pats Chels on the back*
Don't worry, things are going to be alright.

Swift · #6 Post by **Swift** » Mon Aug 09, 2004 2:41 am

Take care, Chels. *hugs*

1eyedParrot · #7 Post by **1eyedParrot** » Mon Aug 09, 2004 2:49 am

Dating, if you go by averages, results in the most heartbreak. I've found that casual sex is much less of a disappointment, try that.

#8 Post by **Erpy** » Mon Aug 09, 2004 8:35 am

I'm sorry to hear that. Like BT said, perhaps it's best to give him room to figure things out. If he comes back, he'll probably appreciate your company more. If he doesn't, you can b-slap him and move on.

Klytos · #9 Post by **Klytos** » Mon Aug 09, 2004 9:32 am

Hey Chels, don't know if we've ever chatted before, but if you want someone to talk to feel free to talk to me on MSN or AIM. My details are in my profile. I don't know anything about you or your boyfriend but I hope something I say something here that will help you sort out your emotions.

He was at bible camp for a week and today I finally got to see him and he said that he needed to take a break but he still loves me and still wants to marry me someday. But he also said the he wants me to meet other guys and he needs to see what other girls is like because i'm the only girl he's ever dated.

Can I assume that you are both fairly "religious"? I take this from the fact that he went to Bible Camp and I wouldn't assume that would be something a heathen like myself would go to. If there is any spiritual advise I can give it would be to not let him pull out any scripture / word from God against your relationship and why he should see other women. Believe what you read (or things you are given Devine inspiration about) not what other people want you to see.

I don't mean to be harsh here, but he wants to date other people but still wants to marry you sometime in the future? This sounds to me like he wants to play the field but wants you to be there as a safety net to fall back on. What if he finds someone else who he is more "in love" with? You're left holding nothing 'cause you sat around waiting for him. That is not fair on you at all.

I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like my life is gone. He said that he wants me to be his best friend and he kept trying to kiss me and I'm so confused right now.

Kissing you and being your best friend are two different things. In my view he is just selfish. He wants everything his way. I can't blame you for being confused, he's not being fair to you or your relationship. If you've been dating for 18 months then he should be more honest with you.

I told him he can't do that to me after he just told me he wanted to break up with me and he started crying. He said there was a girl at camp that he felt attracted to because she looked like me but he said he was confused because he also was attracted to her because she was a different person. He said she was cold and he let her wear his sweatshirt and he put his arm around her but he felt so guilty about it afterwards.

Thats the sympathy vote. He wants you to feel sorry for him. Don't. He did the wrong thing, not you. I know that having your arm around someone is not much, but he obviously had more intentions than that, otherwise he wouldn't have felt guilty.

I don't know what i'm supposed to do. I really just want to get back together but if he wants to I don't know if I should. I'm sorry for rambling I just need to get this out in writing.

It's your choice to get back together with him. But it should be everything or nothing. There's no point in you loving him with your whole heart, yet he wants to see other women.

My advise, pray for a clear mind to help you make the right decision.

Good Luck.

Rambaldi0503 · #10 Post by **Rambaldi0503** » Mon Aug 09, 2004 1:18 pm

I think Klitos said it all correct. The only thing I would add to that is, seriously, fuck him. He's an ass. He wants a safety net. So do exactly what he wants: (when the time is right) date other guys. Then you'll turn out to have found someone better and he'll sit there and go, ah, fuck what the hell did i do?

Klytos · #11 Post by **Klytos** » Tue Aug 10, 2004 9:22 am

I think Klitos said it all correct.

I might just frame that quote.

Spikey · #12 Post by **Spikey** » Tue Aug 10, 2004 11:01 am

Sorry to hear, Chels.

We're in the same kind of thing, my relationship ended yersterday. Today he brought my stuff over, and we got into a fight and now my face is bleeding and my knee is bruised.

Swift · #13 Post by **Swift** » Tue Aug 10, 2004 11:12 am

Sorry to hear that Spikey.

#14 Post by **Erpy** » Tue Aug 10, 2004 11:23 am

Yeah. Relationships ending is already bad enough without these sorts of things happening.

Blackthorne519 · #15 Post by **Blackthorne519** » Tue Aug 10, 2004 11:33 am

Spikey wrote:Sorry to hear, Chels.

We're in the same kind of thing, my relationship ended yersterday. Today he brought my stuff over, and we got into a fight and now my face is bleeding and my knee is bruised.

God, Spikey! I'm sorry. Breaking up is hard to do.

And Chels, I don't think your life will suck forever. Something just tells me it won't.

Gronagor · #16 Post by **Gronagor** » Tue Aug 10, 2004 11:58 am

This is gonna sound insensitive: I know quite a few realtionships that broke up after these 'camps'. They are the worst thing for relationships. One can't believe the things that happen at these camps! (and they got nothing to do with the point of the camp. Let's just say rabbits would look on in awe.)

chels · #17 Post by **chels** » Tue Aug 10, 2004 5:02 pm

thank you so much, you guys. Spikey, I'm so sorry to hear about your situation and I hope that you will have an okay recovery. You don't need to be with someone who hurts you like that.

Tim called me this morning and told me that he made a huge mistake. He was very upset and said that he just acted on the moment and he really does want to marry me in the future but he was worried that if neither of us dated anyone else throughout college that we would be unhappy in the future. He said that our relationship was just getting a little intense for him since we were always talking about the future. He told me that he wants me back and he wants things to be the way they were again. He said that he was just afraid that before he went to college, it was going to be more painful for us so he thought that he would just end the relationship now and start being friends so that the scars will have healed by then. We decided that neither one of us was ready to end our relationship now and we still feel the same way about eachother that we did a year ago. We are back together because he asked me if i could forgive him and he truly meant that he made a mistake, so I said yes and we are just going to think about now and not what's going to happen years from now.

Fribbi · #18 Post by **Fribbi** » Tue Aug 10, 2004 5:36 pm

Welcome to my leisure suit Larry club bwahahahaha!

Angelus3K · #19 Post by **Angelus3K** » Tue Aug 10, 2004 5:42 pm

Congrats Chels thats great!!!

Now you can get on with being happy with each other

Rambaldi0503 · #20 Post by **Rambaldi0503** » Tue Aug 10, 2004 6:04 pm

Well good luck, take it slow.

Spikey · #21 Post by **Spikey** » Tue Aug 10, 2004 7:34 pm

I'm glad your situation cleared up a bit.

chels wrote:Spikey, I'm so sorry to hear about your situation and I hope that you will have an okay recovery. You don't need to be with someone who hurts you like that.

Thanks. Don't worry we were both wrong. I punched him, too.

Blackthorne519 · #22 Post by **Blackthorne519** » Tue Aug 10, 2004 8:47 pm

Oh, he's going to college?

Heh. College is a buffet of fun and carefree sex. In a month, he'll be like "What commitment?"

Be vigilant, citizen.

Bt

Rambaldi0503 · #23 Post by **Rambaldi0503** » Tue Aug 10, 2004 9:11 pm

Blackthorne519 wrote:Heh. College is a buffet of fun and carefree sex.

Really? Even in the 1920s when you attended?

chels · #24 Post by **chels** » Tue Aug 10, 2004 9:30 pm

Blackthorne519 wrote:Oh, he's going to college?

Heh. College is a buffet of fun and carefree sex. In a month, he'll be like "What commitment?"

Be vigilant, citizen.

Bt

he's waiting until marriage to have sex. We had been together for a year and a half and we felt like we were ready to but he told me that he really wanted to wait till he got married because he wants it to be special and he wants that to be the first person. But I am sure that he will have lots of fun and I hope that he does. The only thing that kind of pisses me off is that he hasn't even applied to colleges yet and he already seems to think he's gotten accepted at FIT(Fashion Institute of Technology, he wants to be a toy designer or graphic artist). I know that's where he really wants to go but I doubt that it's an easy school to get into since people all over the country want to go there because it is like the top school in America for fashion design and all that stuff.

Blackthorne519 · #25 Post by **Blackthorne519** » Tue Aug 10, 2004 11:15 pm

chels wrote: he's waiting until marriage to have sex.

Said, AND heard THAT one before.

We had been together for a year and a half and we felt like we were ready to but he told me that he really wanted to wait till he got married because he wants it to be special...

Marriage doesn't make it special. Just gives it a funky title, and a whole bunch of legal shit to go along with it.

....and he wants that to be the first person.

All well and nice, but I like to test drive the car before I buy it. Even if it IS a Mustang. I mean, were you SURE you liked Pizza even before YOU tried it?

But I am sure that he will have lots of fun and I hope that he does. The only thing that kind of pisses me off is that he hasn't even applied to colleges yet and he already seems to think he's gotten accepted at FIT(Fashion Institute of Technology, he wants to be a toy designer or graphic artist). I know that's where he really wants to go but I doubt that it's an easy school to get into since people all over the country want to go there because it is like the top school in America for fashion design and all that stuff.

Youths dream big. I admire the wistfulness and optimism, but the defeat later on, even if it is in minute amounts, can lead to devestation. Make a lot of plans, but don't plan a lot of results.

Wish ya luck, Chels!

Steve