Klitos' Love Life Problems

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VampD3 · #26 Post by **VampD3** » Thu Oct 14, 2004 5:58 pm

I guess life finds you in the strangest ways.

It certainly does.

Quest For Glory Fan · #27 Post by **Quest For Glory Fan** » Fri Oct 15, 2004 1:02 am

well my personal philosophy is "F@#$ the plan of life and just wing it, if love happens there's a bonus for you, and if it doesn't just keep on trucking untill you feel you're calm and can settle down" I know that's weird coming from a 15 year old but it's my thought on life. I once heard the motto "Woman are like sunsets, sure they're beautiful but their will be a new one tommorow" and I don't think I'm the only one to say that's pretty F-ed up.

P.S sorry for the obcenities I swear when I am happy.

#28 Post by **Erpy** » Fri Oct 15, 2004 4:57 am

Well, that certainly does not make ME happy.

Klytos · #29 Post by **Klytos** » Fri Oct 15, 2004 9:07 am

But you're a forum admin erpy, you're never happy.

Quest For Glory Fan · #30 Post by **Quest For Glory Fan** » Fri Oct 15, 2004 12:19 pm

toucher! I obviously came up with it off the top of my head but it has some truth to it, well for me atleast.

Klytos · #31 Post by **Klytos** » Fri Oct 15, 2004 11:25 pm

Nah Erpy, you're cool for a mod.

Klytos · #32 Post by **Klytos** » Sat Oct 16, 2004 11:47 am

Okay, back onto the original topic of this thread...

I went out with this girl today for a "coffee", which I thought went well, though I'd love to be inside her mind to know what she thought. (I guess Vamp's lesson's on women didn't work too well!!!!)

Conversation went well, after about 1/2 hour talking she suggested we order lunch, which I took to be a good sign. We ate and talked for about two hours total, well actually she talked for the most. I figured if I talked too much I'd put my foot in my mouth and say something bloody stupid, which I managed to avoid the whole date. AWESOME!

So here's what I know. She is absoultly amazing, intelligent, funny, likes to have fun, and has an absoutly amazing smile which just lights up her whole face. And she is nothing like the usual dregs I date or check out.

Geez, I even make myself a little ill reading that, but the scary thing is that it's true. Blackthorne you bastard, what have you done to me?

I think about her and it's more than the whole sex thing... I'm obviously smitten by this woman, but she's way far out of my league, so I'm not holding my breath out on a second date. Mind you, I do want one.

Damn, now I have to go and eat a heap of humble pie for a lot of other posts I have made......

TakariFreak · #33 Post by **TakariFreak** » Sat Oct 16, 2004 1:25 pm

Well, I have one thing to say Klitos, If you truely think she's way out of your league, than she is. If you really want to pursue any kind of relationship with her, you have to understand it will never work if one or both of you goes into it with such doubts. You have to trust in yourself and in her.

Maybe it'll happen, maybe it won't. But it's definiately NOT going to work if you go in having inferior thoughts.

When it comes to love and relationships, NO ONE is ever inferior to someone else, and if anyone in the relationship thinks different, than those 2 people don't belong together.

Angelus3K · #34 Post by **Angelus3K** » Sat Oct 16, 2004 1:31 pm

Well, I have one thing to say Klitos, If you truely think she's way out of your league, than she is. If you really want to pursue any kind of relationship with her, you have to understand it will never work if one or both of you goes into it with such doubts. You have to trust in yourself and in her.

I thought Vamp was totally out of my leauge when I met her and I totally thought it would never come to anything, but after I asked her out and she said YES the next morning I literally woke up and thought I had dreamed the previous night, when I relised it was real I felt amazing!!

So it doesnt matter what Klitos thinks thats not going to affect anything and you cant really give general advice on relationships as each one is totally different.

Plus Vamp thought it was really sweet how I thought she was out of my league

anathoth8 · #35 Post by **anathoth8** » Sat Oct 16, 2004 3:48 pm

Well, I don't know how it is for others, but I can tell you that my fiance and I both think of eachother as far better than ourselves. I can tell that she thinks of me more highly than I think of myself. But, I guess that's what happens when you love someone: you just adore and idolize them so much, you just can't help it.

Blackthorne519 · #36 Post by **Blackthorne519** » Sat Oct 16, 2004 4:49 pm

My girlfriend is WAY outta my league! She's smart, funny, talented, and beautiful. Not to mention motivated. Hehe. What the hell.... anyway, I don't care that she's out of my league because she's mine.

Heh. Sorry I messed with you, Klitos! Oops!

Bt

Senor Matt · #37 Post by **Senor Matt** » Sat Oct 16, 2004 7:25 pm

A wise man once told me that I should marry a woman that I feel I must work hard to be worthy of. I think that was probably the best piece of relationship advice I ever got and I definitely plan to do that. So it is my opinion that everybody should be going after people that they feel are "out of their league"

Klytos · #38 Post by **Klytos** » Sat Oct 16, 2004 11:50 pm

Well, I have one thing to say Klitos, If you truely think she's way out of your league, than she is.

Well, she is way out of my league. But that isn't going to stop me trying to step up. Hey, she went out with me once, why not a second time?

Blackthorne519 · #39 Post by **Blackthorne519** » Sun Oct 17, 2004 12:11 am

Well, I have one thing to say Klitos, If you truely think she's way out of your league, than she is.

That's just a typical Takari thing to say, anyway. Everyone has the power to make what they want. Only YOU can do it.

Bt

TakariFreak · #40 Post by **TakariFreak** » Sun Oct 17, 2004 4:17 am

Just forget what I said then. It's obvious no one understood what I meant.

I was totally serious when i said that NO ONE is inferior to another. That means, in truth, NO ONE is out of your league. NO ONE. Someone being out of your leauge implies one of you is inferior to the other. Stop looking at yourself or the other that way. Relationships are MEANT to be equal, not one being looked down up, be it their partner, or by themselves. You're only inferior in your own mind.

Someone is only out of your league if you think you're too inferior to pursue a relationship, and that feeling is only in your mind, and can be overcome with willpower.

Just because I haven't BEEN in a relationship, doesn't mean I don't know anything. I've watched a lot of relationships. Maybe I don't have personal experience, but I've seen enough to give opinions and thoughts on it. I have a knack for being able to analyze one's thoughts and feelings based on their actions, and I tend to surprise people with how much I know relative to how much they THINK I know.

One doesn't necessarily have to LIVE a certain experience to have knowledge about it you know....intentionally or not, you're making it sound like my opinions have no merit.

Blackthorne519 · #41 Post by **Blackthorne519** » Sun Oct 17, 2004 4:44 am

TakariFreak wrote: One doesn't necessarily have to LIVE a certain experience to have knowledge about it you know....intentionally or not, you're making it sound like my opinions have no merit.

Actually, I wasn't implying that your opinions have no merit, just that they tend to border on the hopeless side of the spectrum most of the time. Your opinions have merit, of course.

Bt

Klytos · #42 Post by **Klytos** » Sun Oct 17, 2004 6:39 am

TakariFreak wrote:I was totally serious when i said that NO ONE is inferior to another. That means, in truth, NO ONE is out of your league. NO ONE. Someone being out of your leauge implies one of you is inferior to the other. Stop looking at yourself or the other that way. Relationships are MEANT to be equal, not one being looked down up, be it their partner, or by themselves. You're only inferior in your own mind.

Someone is only out of your league if you think you're too inferior to pursue a relationship, and that feeling is only in your mind, and can be overcome with willpower.

That is very true, No One is inferior to another person, and you're perfectly right in saying that a relationship isn't good if it's not equal. I generally don't look down on myself too much, but in this situation this girl is just so perfectly awesome that I pale in comparison. I would love to be inside her mind for a couple of minutes during lunch yesterday to see what she was thinking.

Angelus3K · #43 Post by **Angelus3K** » Sun Oct 17, 2004 8:17 am

I've watched a lot of relationships. Maybe I don't have personal experience, but I've seen enough to give opinions and thoughts on it.

Yea but thats no comparrison, you have no idea what goes on behind closed doors (whatever that may be) so you really do have no idea till you have been in a relationship. Even when friends tell their friends stuff its nothing like the feeling and expierances you go through.

Of course your opinons are vaild and its nice to read them

VampD3 · #44 Post by **VampD3** » Sun Oct 17, 2004 8:50 am

Like Angelus said, if your not in or have been in a relationship you really don't know much at all about it.

EVERY relationship is totally different. You don't know what goes on behind closed doors. A couple may appear to be not very close or having a few problems when you see them but back home they could be all loving and close, or the oposite as well.

Even if your friends tell you a 1 on 1 account of a problem there having, it still doesn't come close to whats ACTUALLY happening. You don't know the feelings or the whole situation!!

Oh and Klitos I wouldn't worry about what she was thinking, generally us women don't think that much differently to what your thinking esp on first dates:-
Wow he's nice/ugly/not that keen on him/makes me laugh
Like his hair/eyes/lips etc
And generally just things like, could I kiss him etc?

The main difference is that we notice all the little things such as smells, hair, eyes, the way you eat and look and talk.

Klytos · #45 Post by **Klytos** » Sun Oct 17, 2004 10:35 am

Come on people, I think Takari has a very valid point. I rarely dated when I was a teenager / early 20's yet I could still see the situations and make valid judgments about relationships. Actually, it's only been since I fell head-over for this bird that I stopped knowing what the hell I was doing. Relationships are confusing, and to be an impartial 3rd party generally gives you a clearer perspective.

Oh and Klitos I wouldn't worry about what she was thinking, generally us women don't think that much differently to what your thinking esp on first dates:- Wow he's nice/ugly/not that keen on him/makes me laugh Like his hair/eyes/lips etc And generally just things like, could I kiss him etc?

Oh dear. All I was thinking was :

"Damn she's hot!"
"What's she see in me to be here?"
"Man she has nice brown eyes, I could look into them all day."
"Why did I wake up this morning with this [INSERT ERPY BANNED WORD HERE] ZIT IN MY EYEBROW? GOD WHY DO YOU HATE ME????"
"Another drink, I need something else to talk about."
"I wonder if she noticed that piece of lettuce fly off my fork and into the menu, ricochet off it and into my lap."
"Flawless skin, I love that."
"Damn, I haven't seen a girl wear a full body dress in ages. Simple yet elegant."
"I hope the waitress doesn't recognise me from work."
"I wish someone I knew walked past and saw me sitting here with her. That would be so cool."
"Note to Self : Eat with your mouth closed."
"Loose-cut top, I like. But don't stare."
"Man I love her smile."
"Conversations going well so far."
"She's talking about her kid. Need.point.of.reference.badly."
"Stinks good."
"Don't look down her top."
"Phew, passed that question I think. Maybe."
"I wonder if this is going well?"
"Two hours, not too bad and we mostly just talked."
"She's rubbing her collar bone again. I read somewhere that means she's keen on me. Maybe she's itchy. Damn there it is again."
"Oh my god! I can't believe she's sitting here on a date with ME! I rock!"
"Note to self : Don't scratch."
"Nice lips. Future Goal : Kiss Repeatedly."
"Hmmm, must be something different about her, I haven't tried steering the conversation towards sex. Very strange."
"I hope she's enjoying herself. Positive point : She's still here."

#46 Post by **Erpy** » Sun Oct 17, 2004 10:59 am

You were taking notes while dating, Klitos?

Senor Matt · #47 Post by **Senor Matt** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 12:14 am

Klitos wrote:"Don't look down her top."

Ah, now there's some sound advice for any guy, especially on a first date.

Oh, and Vampgelus? Just out of curiousity, did you two kiss on your first date?

TakariFreak · #48 Post by **TakariFreak** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 2:57 am

Maybe I DON'T know what goes on behind closed doors. But neither does ANYONE else. If each relationship is unique as had been said, even BEING in one does not make their advice any "better" than advice from a person who HASN'T been.

The whole "what would you do if you were in my spot" advice that is often asked for has really little to do with your actual experience in a relationship, I feel. Any one can try to answer a hypothetical question. It's up to the person who asked for it who needs to decide who's response would most likely suit their needs.

There is no "training" course when it comes to relationships. Unless you've got a certificate for a position in real life that relates to them somehow, no one's advice and/or thoughts on relationship is any better than anyone else's. Being in a relationship doesn't necesarily make one "smarter" when it comes to them. Maybe it can offer more insight to how they would personally handle certain aspects of their relationships in the future, but when it comes to giving thoughts and advice on relatinships, it's ultimately what the person asking for said info does in the end that matters.

And as a closing analogy: Do people often doubt the events they learn in history class because the people who wrote the text books didn't live the situation?

Klytos · #49 Post by **Klytos** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 9:12 am

Erpy wrote:You were taking notes while dating, Klitos?

Nope.

But that's not a real lot for a couple of hours of conversation! In fact, most of what I was thinking can be summed up in two thoughts. First, she is a hot chick. Second, Is this going well? / Is she keen or just polite?

TakariFreak wrote:Maybe I DON'T know what goes on behind closed doors. But neither does ANYONE else. If each relationship is unique as had been said, even BEING in one does not make their advice any "better" than advice from a person who HASN'T been.

I had the date in a restaurant, not behind closed doors. (Sorry, small joke there...

)

VampD3 · #50 Post by **VampD3** » Mon Oct 18, 2004 9:17 am

Oh, and Vampgelus? Just out of curiousity, did you two kiss on your first date?

Nope lol it was awhile into it before we kissed

Maybe I DON'T know what goes on behind closed doors. But neither does ANYONE else. If each relationship is unique as had been said, even BEING in one does not make their advice any "better" than advice from a person who HASN'T been.

It does make there advice a bit better as they would take into account things that happen when there alone.

For example when me and Angelus first started going out (well maybe a few months) things were a bit tense between us as we clashed a few times and found out things about each other that we weren't to keen on (like you do in alot of relationships) Anyway when we were out and about we looked the perfect couple, holding hands, smiling, people even said how great we looked, but then we got home and we used to argue, or have huge disagreements, no one else knew about this apart from us two alone. Things are ALOT better now by the way lol

Even when I used to talk to friends about relationships I used to say things like "I hate how he always....." or " We argued last night and it was bad" and they used to wonder why I was even with certain people, but they DIDN'T know what it was like to be with that person through the good times or what I was feeling deep down or what me and my partner discussed when no one was around.

What I'm saying is that an outsiders view may be good at times and advice may be good BUT its really not the same at all.

I'm not even on about if you haven't been in a relationship you wouldn't know, as you still have ideas about what goes on, all I'm saying is that its not the same as when your in one, the feelings you feel, the conversations that go on that NO ONE (friends, relatives, your own perseptions) knows about.

he whole "what would you do if you were in my spot" advice that is often asked for has really little to do with your actual experience in a relationship, I feel.

I learned never to ask that of a friend or relative because like I said who ever your asking hasn't got a clue about whats actually going on between the two of you.

Not ever being in a relationship doesn't make you not know things, all I'm saying is that when youve been in one you know the difficult feelings that people go through, you know what its like to be with someone for months, years and love them with all your heart but at the same time know you shouldn't or can't be with them and how much that hurts which in turn would be why you wouldn't give the advice of "leaving them" as you know its not simple.

So yeah its great to give advice whether youve beenin a relationship or you haven't, there all valid!! BUT you wouldn't truely know the feelings that you share with someone and the heartache you feel in a relationship, as sharing love with someone can be one of the biggest heartaches you would feel when things go wrong.