The Limerick Game

[Charlemagne]

Nothing complicated here folks. Just post your favourite or most unique limericks. I thought I'd try something a little different from the usual forum games. Limericks always make me laugh.

Here's a neat limerick that I wrote as a bonus assignment for my univerisity calculus course. The assignment was to write an "equation limerick", ie. a real equation written in limerick form. It took me a while but I'm rather proud of the result. The equation I chose is:

Code: Select all

d                      cot(t)
-- ln(ln(sin(t))) =  ----------
dt                   ln(sin(t))

When the natural log's twice composed
With itself and sine t, I suppose,
Though complex it may be,
It's derivative, see,
Is cotan by "lawn" sine, so you know.

Here's another (math-related) limerick that I wrote just because I felt like it:

A mathematician named Erdös
Found proofs that would cause him to sweardös:
"By the hook or the crook
That came straight from The Book!
And I know how they're so very raredös."

And finally, here's a lowbrow and semi-risqué limerick that I didn't write:

Once a young man from Kabul
Found red spots all over his tool.
Said his doctor, a cynic,
"Get out of my clinic.
Just wipe off the lipstick, you fool!"

[Jafar]

There was a young lady of Lynn,
Who was so exceedingly thin,
That when she essayed
To drink lemonade
She slid down the straw and fell in.

[Renodox]

How dare you sit next to me
I wasn't the least bit lonely
Now do as I say
And just go away
Before I can count to three!

[Broomie]

There once was a lad named Jamie
His ex was a bitch called Aimee
She pissed him off much
So they just lost touch
Now she sits on streets shouting Pay me!

[Parhelion]

There once was a fellow named Rudy
Who cared not for youth nor for beauty
But for ignorant sluts with thunderous butts
Whom he did as a matter of duty.

edit:  I thought it might be fun to make up limericks about the people on the forums.  Here's my attempt:

A man named Robin Ferreira
Collected catalogs made by Sierra
Till a mistaken bid cost him 500 quid
And he fled to the French Riveira.

[Uhanimar]

There once was a kid named got,
Who was as stupid as a pot.
He said "Oh lookies!"
and ate 50 cookies
And now he aint such a little tot.

Okay that one really sucked.  :rollin

Nantuckin'

[Optimus Crime]

There once was a guy named Optimus Crime
Who baked a philosophical plum
It was funny and cynic
So he did think
But most just thought he's a dick

[Broomie]

There once was a team which tried
Two remakes that went sky high
They were called Tierra
A tribute to Sierra
Yet now they're called AGDI

From Sierra to Tierra he came
The boards would not be the same
His emotions were cute
Yet hard to compute
Yep you guessed it Erpy's his name

My Alias I saw right through me
It was my nick in real life you see.
I loved Spiderman
Not that way but a fan
Yes you got it my name is Broomie

(Part II)

Yet as years went by I got cross
I knew I had to make a dear loss
I thought up of names
Some were quite lame
But by God I knew I was Bromios!

I love making limericks.

[Alliance]

There once was a lady from Brass
Who had a remarkable ass
It was not rounded and pink, as one might think
but it was grey, had ears, and ate grass.

[Jafar]

There once was a dude called Jafar
Who adventured near and far
He rescued a princess
From terrible distress
And was rewarded with a fancy new car.

[Alliance]

There once was a dude named Alliance
And though he had little compliance
He tried to make games
They just weren't quite the same
As other fangames
Not as good as AGD
Not like IA, see
He had humor, wit, and entropy,
But he saved the day
Have it your way
With Peasant's Quest VGA.

Okay, here's another one,
As I am clearly not yet done.

There once was a man named Blackthorne
Who made gorgeous art in the morn
He was very kind
And he was not blind
He's so very cool, you mind?

I'm a poet and I didn't even know it!

[anathoth8]

anathoth8 is my name
I tried hard to play this game
I sat and I thought
Until I got hot
'Cause I couldn't remember how a limerick is supposed to end!  :lol

[Steffi Evenstar]

She went by the name Steffi Evenstar
We all knew in her life she would go far
Her boobs they did grow,
And all who did know,
Had to go smoke a cigar.

(yeah, pretty lame)

[Parhelion]

We once had a mod named Erpy
Who became infected with herpes
He fell into a coma
And was flown to Arizona
Where it was hot - so he bought a Slurpee

[Charlemagne]

Good stuff. I particularly liked Alliance's one about an ass. I also see that some people forgot how a limerick is supposed to sound. The rhyming scheme is aabba, ie. the last words of the first, second and fifth lines rhyme, and the last words of the third and fourth lines rhyme. The rhythm is usually anapestic (short-short-long); the first, second and fifth lines have nine syllables each and the others have six each. It's not set in stone though.

[fluxmaster]

There once was a knight named Sir Graham.
When dragons would threaten he'd slay'em.
When, at King Edward's pleasure,
He returned all the treasures,
He did so without violence or mayhem.

There once was a lady named Valanice.
Locked up in a tower, she kept her peace.
In the mirror she was seen
By King Graham as his queen,
So to rescue her he traveled overseas.

There once was a wizard named Mannanan.
Kidnapping young boys he could and can.
When his slave boy named Gwidion
At long last outwitted him,
He was transformed into a cat, not a man.

There once was a Princess Rosella.
The fairy Genesta did tell her:
With your father now ill,
Get the apple, you will,
But watch out for Edgar, that sly fella.

There once was a wizard named Mordak
Who, to get Mannanan soul back,
Shrunk Daventry Castle,
Put it in a vessle,
But King Graham defeated him in four attacks.

There once was a Prince Alexander.
To injustice he never would pander.
When Casima was taken,
But hope not forsaken,
He rescued her from that philanderer.

There once was a king of the Trolls.
An imposter, to further his goals,
Took his place on the throne,
But could not hold his own,
In the end was raked over the coals.

There once was a brave knight named Connor.
No task would he ever dishonor.
When the mask was shattered,
He did what mattered,
O! Daventry, the curse was upon her.

But, not satisfied with this grave ending,
Kings Quest fans demanded a mending.
So Phoenix Freeware
The game will repair
With the final chapter they're appending.

[Alias]

fluxmaster that was super cool.

There once was a guy called Slash,
But suddently he got bashed!
By Vohaul the evil brother,
Who wanted the galazy forever!

There once was a jungle in space,
Little did Rog know there was a race!
Tiny pink gnomes got tangled in the land,
When you helped them, man it was gran!

There once were pirates from Pestulon,
They thought they were like a lion!
Jumping in their ships, chasing Roger,
When he kicked their arse, they thought, why bother.

There once was a floppy disk called Vohaul,
He was so angry he lost his soul!
He jumped up and down, while wearing a frown,
And took over Roger Junior.

There once was a guy called Quirk,
He was so cocky, man he was a jerk!
Rog beat him at his own game,
Now he looks oh so lame!

There once was a gal called Stellar,
Who liked to dance with an ambrella!
When Rog fell down and lost all hope,
There she was saving him with a rope!

(I know these are lame.)  :p

[navynuke04]

There once was a guy named Navy,
Who thought EZBoards was crazy.
He knew he could do better,
So he wrote the AGD's a letter.
Now he's an admin, baby!

[Jafar]

I think Navy wrote the best one.

[Charlemagne]

Once a gay man from Khartoum
Took a lesbian up to his room.
But they argued all night
Over who had the right
To do what and with which and to whom.