I'm Depressed...

Message

Klytos · #1 Post by **Klytos** » Wed Dec 08, 2004 9:16 am

I've never been as depressed with life as I am the last few weeks. I just can't inspire myself to do anything. Basically life sucks. Women suck, work sucks, not working sucks, being on jury duty really bloody sucks, reading sucks, going to the movies sucks. Basically, everything sucks.

I enjoy what I do for work, but I simply don't get paid enough. We're the lowest paid bank in the country (of the majors anyway) and one of the others pays more than $5 an hour more for less daily tasks. That's the major shitter. I enjoy the company, just the money is frankly horsecrap.

I hate being in debt. Even though I've paid off nearly $10,000 this year and only have a bit over $5k left, I still never have any money. Well, thats not true, but if I stuck to my budget I wouldn't have any money. Then I do what I did today and buy a pile of DVD's and waste a couple of hundred dollars I really should have put down on one of my many debts.

The problem is I need a change, but I can't do anything until I'm debt-free. And the killer of it all is I have nothing tangible to show for all the money I have spent. Seriously, if I had like a car or something, that'd be cool (at the worst I could hock the thing to raise some capital) but I don't.

And women! God, why are they so bloody hard to understand? I mean, they dress to impress, show a bit of leg and cleavage and then crack the major wobblies when you (as a guy) have a perv. WTF is up with that? Seriously? I wish I could just say, once, "Hey, dress like a tramp I'm gonna treat you like a tramp!" Not that I would of course, but the hypocritical side of women pisses me off. Today I met this chick, we was talking and stuff, and she was dead-set flirting with me, so when we were leaving I asked if she wanted to grab a coffee and she says she's in a long-term relationship! I mean, bitch. And yeah baby, I know the difference between being friendly and flirting, one of them doesn't involve you touching me. I don't think, (God please hear this one...) that it's unreasonable to ask for women to say what they want. Blokes do, it seems to work for us.

I don't feel any better, but at least I may have depressed others as well as myself.

Well, I think I'll go out on the drink and forget my worries at least for tonight. Then I'll come home and watch all 10 hours of Live Aid (which I bought today). Yeah, Queen.... always cheers me up.

Skyshark · #2 Post by **Skyshark** » Wed Dec 08, 2004 10:18 am

Tell me about it. I've been waiting to find out what the hell's going on with this postgraduate course that I applied for (it's an industry placement type course as well, so Murdoch University have to do some negotiating with industry partners), as it kicks off in mid-January, and I'm stuck in the middle of everything. I mean, I'm considering dropping everything and buggering off to Japan (aiming for Osaka, according to some advice) as soon as possible to go and teach English for about 12 months or more. Looking for something to do in the meantime is a pain in itself, as I want to get some extra money, but I can't really commit myself for a long term, as once the course starts, I'd pretty much have to pull out and start concentrating, and I don't want to burn my bridges with some potential future employers.

As for women, heh, committing now wouldn't be a good idea for me, especially if taking off overseas comes sooner than I expect.

Anyway, Klytos, you're not the only one in the same boat.

Spikey · #3 Post by **Spikey** » Wed Dec 08, 2004 1:37 pm

Queen cheers you up? That would depress me even further. When I listen to Queen I always can't stop thinking how Freddy lived the saddest life ever.

VampD3 · #4 Post by **VampD3** » Wed Dec 08, 2004 1:47 pm

I mean, they dress to impress, show a bit of leg and cleavage and then crack the major wobblies when you (as a guy) have a perv. WTF is up with that?

I know what you mean, I hate women that do that its bloody stupid!! I mean speaking from a female point of view I never do that, the only reason some do is because they want to look good for themselves not for men. But I know what you mean Its mad!!

Today I met this chick, we was talking and stuff, and she was dead-set flirting with me, so when we were leaving I asked if she wanted to grab a coffee and she says she's in a long-term relationship!

Most women even though they are in a long term relationship like to know they "still have it" and it gets them going and makes them feel good when they flirt with men and men flirt back! Some women get a kick out of it and it makes them feel sexy and good about themselves.

I don't do that, I would never lead a guy on but it always makes you feel nice when guys like you.

Anyway hope you feel better soon :)

Gav · #5 Post by **Gav** » Wed Dec 08, 2004 10:25 pm

That perv hypocrisy has always pissed me off too. It's so stupid that they would dress in a way bound to make you look, but they act like you're sleazy if you do. I guess they only want to be perved on by certain guys :rolleyes.

And Klytos, cheer up mate. Things might suck at the moment, but a few months down the track it could all be different. Just try to have a good attitude and do the best you can.

Blackthorne519 · #6 Post by **Blackthorne519** » Thu Dec 09, 2004 12:42 am

Hey,

Maybe it's something in the air. Lately, I'm depressed as hell too. I feel like I'm lazy, and a n'er do well. I haven't worked in a long time, and December always reminds me of my health condition. Two years ago, I was sick all the time, and going blind because I let kidney failure go unchecked and undiagnosed. I guess I've been coming to terms with the fact that I should be dead now, and through several near misses and difficult paths, I'm still alive - but now I don't know what to do with myself. I just feel useless, and it's starting to take it's toll in my personal life. My girlfriend knows somethings up, but she's all tired from her new job and depressed herself due to the fact that a few weeks ago, one of her friends from school killed herself. It just feels like everything is crashing in, and it sucks. I mean, heh, I know in the long run , I'll get over it. This is petty shit - compared to the fact that I have done dialysis and had a transplant, plus TWO other life saving major surgeries, DIED on the operating table once, and I've come out on the other side stronger just means this will all pass. But I have a hard time talking about this with people, because frankly I think they think that I whine..... or I think that I whine, or I'm talking too much about myself. But, do you know how hard it is to be 24 years old, and be told you're going to DIE without dialysis and a transplant - and to endure all that, STILL knowing you're going to die young...... I mean, sometimes I just think 'what's the point?'. All the typical things that people aspire to in life seem so pithy to me, yet they affect everyday life so much. People, my friends, family, those around me, stress out everyday about such trivial things, and I watch life being taken for granted. For chrissakes, I see people take MY RECOVERY for granted - like it's ALWAYS supposed to happen that way. Most people who were in my situation DIE. They do. They die and they don't come back. I've cheated death SO MANY times in the past two years, I just wonder WHY? Why me? Better people have died for less. Many kids younger than me have needlessly died in a war my country is fighting. I know there's no rhyme or reason to life - it's all random chaos theory and such. It is.... but I want to believe there's purpose to it all, but honestly, it seems like there is none. We're just a pathetic, evolved, mamalian species who is really only good at one thing: procreating. Seriously...... it's like all consideration for Art, creation, beauty, love... thrown down the tubes. Okay - now I've gone off the deep end and gotten on a rant... but this is the way I feel lately, and I can't seem to tell anyone. Everyone just sees me as "funny ole' Steve" good for a laugh and a good time. Like my life returned to normal; I'm never going to have a normal life again. It sucks, yeah, but that's just the way it is. I'm always going to have kidney failure, and I'm going to be living between transplant and dialysis. For the REST OF MY LIFE. It makes me wish I had enjoyed MORE of my first 24 years, carefree. I wasn't quite a reserved soul, but there were many things I never did then that I should have. I should have taken more risks; and not put thing off til 'tomorrow'. Now, I have to cram them into a today, which doesn't have as much room for them. I'm living on borrowed time. And it can't last forever. So, what do I do with it? We'll see. We'll see. I'm just praying that I don't waste it... like I've done so many other times.

Bt

Spikey · #7 Post by **Spikey** » Thu Dec 09, 2004 1:12 am

It's the time of the year, or "something in the air" as Blackthorne said it.

In early days in Europe, this was an established thing. The sun would "die" at Halloween, thus ending the year and starting a period of chaos and darkness. At Yule / winterstolstice, this year at 21st of december, the sun (sungod / son) would be "reborn". This festivity was seen as symbol for renewed inspiration, and a time to think about what you want to reach in the coming year. Chaos won't end here, cause the sun isn't strong enough to maintain order, but it's a great time to think things over. Or something. Later, Yule was turned into Christmas, but most rituals like gifts and lights and candles and decoration with holly, red, green and white remain from Yule.

Music Head · #8 Post by **Music Head** » Thu Dec 09, 2004 8:24 am

I'm even more depressed...

I can't consentrate at school and i'm getting poor grades, i've messed up two of my closest friendships, my parents are having problems.

coming on the web is pretty much the hi-light of each day

chels · #9 Post by **chels** » Sat Dec 11, 2004 2:44 am

I feel bad because I've had many exciting things going on in my life lately. Bt, I didn't know that you had kidney failure, you've been through so much. It must be hard knowing that you survived in such a deadly situation. You're definitely not useless. You have your friends and family and a girlfriend who all love you, and you've got us

. I think it is a blessing that you are still alive. I believe that there is a reason why you are still alive. I hope that this depressed feeling you have is only temporary. I hope it is only temporary for all of you. You are all really great people and it makes me sad to see that you're all sad. I hope tomorrow brings a happier feeling for everyone.

Music Head · #10 Post by **Music Head** » Sat Dec 11, 2004 3:03 am

this post is depressing

The Knight · #11 Post by **The Knight** » Sat Dec 11, 2004 4:17 am

You guys too? Can I join the club?

Because.........

LIFE SUCKS!

I'll get around to details later, though. Too depressed, to talk about being depressed. |I

Oh yeah, girls are invovled.

Spikey · #12 Post by **Spikey** » Sat Dec 11, 2004 4:57 am

Girls are never involved in my depressions.

Blackthorne519 · #13 Post by **Blackthorne519** » Sat Dec 11, 2004 8:28 pm

Spikey wrote:Girls are never involved in my depressions.

Yeah, but I'm sure l'amour is!

Bt

PS Chels, thank you for such a nice post. Yes, my problems with depression ARE temporary, and it helps to remind yourself of that. But it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt in the moment. Lately, though, I'm better. But thanks for the support, to those who bother to read and reply to this thread.

Klytos · #14 Post by **Klytos** » Sun Dec 12, 2004 3:05 am

BT, you're a dude.

Quest For Glory Fan · #15 Post by **Quest For Glory Fan** » Sun Dec 12, 2004 5:53 am

heh now that you mention it the last 3 relationships I royally screwed (not consequtive) have all either been in ended or started in December and now that I think about it. I F***ING HATE DECEMBER! sorry for that I never get sad unless a certain song is being played which reminds me that all my friends found out that Wind beneath my wings makes me cry and I'm getting made fun of pretty bad by close friends. WE were doing karoke after a play had finished and it was all randomized and that song is so hard to sing while crying because every time I think of the lyrics it reminds me of the first time I heard it...I have never been in a graveyard where 60 people were all bawling at the same time but when 20 teenagers sing a song about a dead 16 year old and the line "did you ever know that you're my hero" comes up achapalla that graveyard is full of more tears then usual.... what am I talking about? I lost it there for a bit anyways the moral of the story is never post about depression at 12 :55 AM

Blackthorne519 · #16 Post by **Blackthorne519** » Sun Dec 12, 2004 9:40 am

Klytos wrote:BT, you're a dude.

I know. He said "Girls aren't in my depressions..." but I said, I'm sure l'amour is.

I said "I'm sure love is."

Bt

Klytos · #17 Post by **Klytos** » Sun Dec 12, 2004 10:49 am

I think my bad mood comes from being in December and the fact that Christmas sucks so much. I'm like Scrooge at work, Bah Humbug and all that. What people don't understand, and it's only ever people who have never worked in retail or a face-to-the-public job, is that I don't hate Christmas. I love the day, I love Boxing day, I love catching up with family and friends. I love the food. What I hate is from mid-october onwards every bloody shopping centre is playing christmas carols. Can someone please king-hit Mariah Carey for that God-Aweful Christmas CD she released a few years ago? Please? All I want for Christmas is for you to shut the hell up!

Now, if they released the Chrissy decorations and music around now, or even a week ago, that'd be a different story. I think I'd learn to enjoy the holiday again.

Oh, and teenagers. They've finished school for the year. Woo-Ficking-Hoo! I do enjoy schoolies week though, where all these underage kids get wasted on the grog as a celebration of the end of 12 years of study and all that shit. I mean really! It's even government sponsored in Queensland now. That's right, an Australian government sponsors underage kids to binge drink. It makes me proud to be an Aussie. At least when me and my peers drank at school we did it on the sly so we wouldn't get caught.

Well Schoolies, congratulations. You've now done what 90% of the population older than you has already done. You've finished school. Now you're out of the insular environment you've been in for a decade, welcome to the real world where we don't give a shit about you. Just remember, "Would you like fries with that?" is going to be a very important sentance to remember for the next few years. Dickheads.

Skyshark · #18 Post by **Skyshark** » Sun Dec 12, 2004 12:21 pm

Someone fell out the wrong side of the bed this morning, me thinks.

Quest For Glory Fan · #19 Post by **Quest For Glory Fan** » Sun Dec 12, 2004 3:58 pm

nah this is just a litle thing I like to call venting. It's what forums where made for. Infact I actuall agree on several isuues but during the christmas break is when most people fall outa bed on the wrong side. It's actually proven that more people kill themselves right before christmas cause they don't wanna go through all the hussle and bustle and with Christmas specials up the whazoo you should need a permit to make them!

Klytos · #20 Post by **Klytos** » Mon Dec 13, 2004 9:15 am

Skyshark wrote:Someone fell out the wrong side of the bed this morning, me thinks.

No, yesterday morning. Today, I didn't think about idiot teenagers. :lol

VampD3 · #21 Post by **VampD3** » Mon Dec 13, 2004 7:01 pm

Christmas is great!!! well at least I love it and Ive got a gorgeous baby to spend it with as well!!!

BT your a great person!!! live life to the full and enjoy every moment of it as its over far to quick!!!

I used to be down and get depressed over alot of things, when I was younger it was men and work and how I looked. But its only as you get older that you relise how silly it is to get depressed over that sort of thing. There are so many bigger things in life to worry about or to care about.

God I'm talking as though I'm 40 lol

But cheer up everyone, you'll get through it, god If I can have a baby and get through the past month or two then anyone can! Now that was the hardest time in my whole life and Ive been through alot I tell you. :)

Quest For Glory Fan · #22 Post by **Quest For Glory Fan** » Mon Dec 13, 2004 8:34 pm

Amen Vamp

I think the most depressing thing in my life right now is the thing im most excited to start and that's teaching children the skills to Snowboard safely. I've always loved the snowboarding community and thoiught I should give back to it. Then today at school we had a presentation about how many young workers are injured and that none of us get proper training to be around machinery. Here I am thinking "Ski lifts anyone?" So I'm gonna go read up on my teaching kids how to ride the lift safely points I got in my manual.

Peter Swinkels · #23 Post by **Peter Swinkels** » Fri Dec 17, 2004 7:38 pm

I thought I would mention that I have heard and read that a lack of sunlight can cause slight to severe depressions, it's called winter blues or something. Search for "Winter depression" and "lack of sunlight" or something similair with Google...

Klytos · #24 Post by **Klytos** » Sat Dec 18, 2004 12:22 pm

Except it's summer in Australia right now.... ;)

But that's true, I've heard that too.

Peter Swinkels · #25 Post by **Peter Swinkels** » Sat Dec 18, 2004 12:40 pm

I wasn't directing my message at any one specifically, there were several people who said they felt depressed in this thread. I thought it might be useful for the people living where it is winter currently to point out that a lack of daylight might be causing them to feel depressed.

I'm Depressed...

I'm Depressed...

Can I join the club?........................................