Quotes!

Message

Alias · #1 Post by **Alias** » Sat Dec 11, 2004 11:11 pm

I thought I'd start a thread with funny quotes, please dont post really stupid quotes. :p

''You stinkin' Slaves! ...uh? I mean my fellow employees.'' -Abe's Exodus

Blackthorne519 · #2 Post by **Blackthorne519** » Sun Dec 12, 2004 12:44 am

"AHHH! Get away from me, witch!

I'm not a witch! I'm your wife!!! " - The Princess Bride

MusicallyInspired · #3 Post by **MusicallyInspired** » Sun Dec 12, 2004 7:02 pm

"Catch me later I'll buy you a beer." -Barney, Half-Life

VampD3 · #4 Post by **VampD3** » Sun Dec 12, 2004 7:38 pm

"The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things."
Jilly Cooper.

"Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable."
Cher.

"When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her."
Sacha Guitry.

Alias · #5 Post by **Alias** » Sun Dec 12, 2004 8:01 pm

Now for some woman bashing jokes: :p

''My wife lost all her credit cards, but I'm not going to report it. Whoever found them spends less than she does.''
-- Henny Youngman

Radiant · #6 Post by **Radiant** » Sun Dec 12, 2004 8:32 pm

WHAT is the average airborn velocity of an unladen swallow?

Spikey · #7 Post by **Spikey** » Sun Dec 12, 2004 10:42 pm

I don't know where the world is going, but I'm going to bed.

(Spikey - the insomniac)

Steffi Evenstar · #8 Post by **Steffi Evenstar** » Mon Dec 13, 2004 2:24 am

She turned me into a newt!
A newt?
I got better ...........

my medieval history professor showed us that movie on the last day of class ... it was awesome. she rocks.

TakariFreak · #9 Post by **TakariFreak** » Mon Dec 13, 2004 2:59 am

"If she weighs the same as a duck, she's made of wood!"

"And therefore?"

"...."

"A WITCH!"

Blackthorne519 · #10 Post by **Blackthorne519** » Mon Dec 13, 2004 4:07 am

I'm not the Messiah!

Only the true Messiah would denounce his divinity!!!!

Alright! I AM the Messiah!

... HE IS THE MESSIAH!!!!!!!!!!

- Life of Brian
Monty Python

Quest For Glory Fan · #11 Post by **Quest For Glory Fan** » Mon Dec 13, 2004 4:31 am

Bt that reminds me of my favourite MP joke.

First soldier:Bring out your dead!

"dead" man:Hey I'm not dead!

First Soldier:He says he's not dead

Second soldier: well we can't take him if he's not dead

*THWAP*

First Soldier: ok good. Bring out your dead!

arganite · #12 Post by **arganite** » Mon Dec 13, 2004 4:51 am

Haha monty python the meaning of life.

I am the grim reaper!
Well with this weather its hardly suprising

Boogeyman · #13 Post by **Boogeyman** » Mon Dec 13, 2004 5:14 am

"Put out that fire or I'll sit on you!"
- Smoky the Elephant

Kurdt · #14 Post by **Kurdt** » Mon Dec 13, 2004 10:51 pm

"I only lied about being a theif and I don't do that anymore."
"Steal?"
"Lie."
-- Ocean's 11

Renodox · #15 Post by **Renodox** » Tue Dec 14, 2004 6:09 am

"Do you mean to tell me you could've taken your hand out of that cuff at any time?!"

"No, not at any time. Only when it was funny!"

-Who Framed Roger Rabbit

"Are you a God?"
"No..."
"Then... D-i-i-e-e-e!"
"Ray, when someone asks 'are you a God?' you say 'YES!'"

-Ghostbusters

Quest For Glory Fan · #16 Post by **Quest For Glory Fan** » Wed Dec 15, 2004 5:08 am

damn Riggs we're getting to old for this!
-ever other minute of every lethal weapon ever!

If more guns made a country safer then why does the us have over 10 000 (can't remember number) gun related murders every year?
-bowling for colombine

the best quote of all by George Bush JR

The right hand *extends left hand* doesn't know what the left hand *extends right hand* is talking about.

I thought that was hilarious when I saw it live

paratroopa · #17 Post by **paratroopa** » Fri Jan 14, 2005 1:48 am

grreeeaaat joaaarrrbb-coachZ

PotatoSlayer · #18 Post by **PotatoSlayer** » Fri Jan 14, 2005 4:27 am

Monk--And St. Attila raised the hand grenade up on high saying, "Oh Lord bless this thy hand grenade that with it thou mayest blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy". And the Lord did grin and the people feast upon the lambs and carp and anchovies and orang-utans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and...

Brother Maynard--Skip a bit, Brother...

Monk--And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who being naughty in my sight shall snuff it.

Brother Maynard--Amen.

Knights--Amen.

That's all from memory you can check it's all acurate, i've taken it upon myself to memorize all the dialogue from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, I figure i'll need it some day

Parhelion · #19 Post by **Parhelion** » Mon Feb 21, 2005 7:22 pm

I hate reality, but it is still the only place where I can get a decent steak - Woody Allen

Alias · #20 Post by **Alias** » Mon Feb 21, 2005 7:25 pm

Dr. Isaac Kleiner: What happened?
Barney Calhoun: It's your pet, the freakin' head-humper!

-Half Life 2 during the teleportation device malfunctions.

Barney Calhoun: Great job, Gordon! Throwing that switch and all, I can see your MIT education really pays for itself.

- Half Life 2 [after Gordon is congratulated for being a major help in an experiment]

That second one cracks me up!

FatherGhostface · #21 Post by **FatherGhostface** » Tue Feb 22, 2005 2:07 am

Those are great! I have one from that one movie, Boogeyman? Oh yes, here it is,

"Anyway, if anyone around here is stupid, it's FatherGhostface.

Just look at that last post of his!" from Boogeyman!

That's at the part of the movie where he kills this one guy who did absolutletly nothing to him and yet he said that to him! He was really sad and died of grief becuase the Boogeyman ripped out his heart, and tangled up his feelings! >:

#22 Post by **navynuke04** » Tue Feb 22, 2005 2:09 am

FG... drop it before it turns into a fight. He was only kidding.

PotatoSlayer · #23 Post by **PotatoSlayer** » Tue Feb 22, 2005 2:10 am

wow angry

FatherGhostface · #24 Post by **FatherGhostface** » Tue Feb 22, 2005 2:13 am

I wrote that before I read your "little" message in that SIS place! And besides how would "you" know if "it" was kidding? |I

wow angry

OH BLAH! BIG STUPID ONION BLOSSOM WHOOP! >:

PotatoSlayer · #25 Post by **PotatoSlayer** » Tue Feb 22, 2005 2:18 am

you get made fun of a lot at school don't you?

Quotes!

Quotes!

Wow!

Hmph! (Spits tounge out!!)